What Becomes of the Broken Hearted
by CapeCodPhoenix
Summary: Chloe said it herself, even as she left, Beca is her home. But maybe in leaving she's given up her home and given it to someone else. Will Chloe ever find her way home? Or has Aubrey taken her place in Beca's heart?
1. Prologue

Beca knows what's coming; she's known what's coming for months now, but a part of her still had hope that it wouldn't come to be. Not anymore. She knew it was coming when _she_ got her letter of acceptance to Oxford. She knew it was coming when _she_ started to become distant. She knew what was coming when she called, asking if she could come over. She knew what was coming _because_ she called. She knew what was coming _because_ she asked.

Now she's just waiting. She's waiting for the doorbell to ring, because she knows that _she_ will ring the doorbell this time, instead of waltzing in like she owns the place as she has done every time before.

When the doorbell finally rings, Beca takes a deep breath. She's not ready for this. She'll never be ready for this.

Beca opens the door so her girlfriend of five years can come inside. Chloe is awkward and hesitant, things which Chloe Beale never is. She looks around Beca's house like it's a first date, trying to get the lay of the land; like she hasn't been in it a million times. It makes Beca's heart hurt.

"I love you, Beca," Chloe says. "I think I've loved you since the moment I met you. I loved you when you would let my brother beat you in video games that you could squash him in because you were too busy trying to watch me at the same time. You are everything I could ever want in my forever. You're my home."

Beca has tears streaming down her eyes. She's lucky she had the foresight to not wear make up. It's not fair of Chloe to do this.

"I'm not ready for that," Chloe says. "I'm only eighteen, I'm not ready for forever. I've got to go out into the world, explore, adventure, just live."

Chloe wipes away Beca's tears. She brings her face towards Beca's, pulling her into a passionate kiss. It's definitely not fair.

"I love you," Beca says when they break the kiss, their foreheads pressed together.

"Someday," Chloe whispers, "Someday I'll be ready to come home."

Beca simply watches as Chloe turns and walks out the door, her heart breaking with every step. She wants to reach out and beg Chloe to stay. She wants to make Chloe change her mind. Maybe they could do the whole long distance relationship? But Beca loves Chloe. So Beca _knows_ Chloe. And Chloe is a free spirit that not even she can hold onto. So she knows she has to let Chloe go.

"Goodbye," Beca whispers after Chloe leaves.


	2. Chapter 1

"What the hell Beca?" Aubrey says as she pushes through the rest of the Bellas to reach Beca. "Were you trying to screw us up?"

Aubrey's mad. If Beca couldn't hear it in her voice, she could definitely see it in her face.

"Are you serious?" Beca says.

"Newsflash! This isn't the Beca show," Aubrey says.

"Okay," Beca says, trying to get through to Aubrey. "I'm sorry that I messed you up, but in case you hadn't noticed, everybody pretty much dozed off during our set."

"It's not your job to decide what we do and when we do it," Aubrey says. "Why don't you ask the rest of the group how they felt about your little improvisation?"

Beca looks around at the group of girls in front of her. "Amy?" Beca asks. Her voice is now soft and vulnerable.

"It was cool," Fat Amy says. "But it did take us a little bit by surprise."

"Yeah, a lot by surprise," Aubrey says.

Fat Amy stands by her statement of a little, but only quietly.

"I told you she wasn't a Bella," Aubrey says to her co-captain, Grace. Grace is the daughter of one of her father's friends who Beca knows was told to look out for her.

"Aubrey, don't," Grace says.

"No," Beca says. "That's okay. You don't have to pretend you're allowed to have a say in the group, right?"

"Your attitude sucks. You're a grade-A pain in my ass and I know you're hooking up with Jesse," Aubrey says.

Beca is hurt. Really hurt. Beca didn't improvise because she was bored (although she was), it wasn't because the audience was falling asleep (although they were), it wasn't because she was trying to screw everyone up (she wasn't), it wasn't even her trying to take control of the group (though sometimes she wanted to). No, Beca had improvised because she knows Aubrey wants to win. Aubrey _needs_ to win. And Beca knew they weren't going to place with their arrangement. She was just trying to help Aubrey, whether the blonde realized it or not.

"Whoa. Whoa. Aubrey, calm down. We're not hooking up, I swear," Jesse says appearing out of nowhere behind Beca.

"Jesus Christ," Beca says, turning around to face Jesse. "That's perfect! Of course you're here right now. I don't need your help, okay? Can you back off?" Beca turns back to the Bellas. "If this is what I get for trying…" Beca turns around and walks out of the auditorium.

* * *

Aubrey is still fuming by the time she gets back to her apartment. She feels slightly guilty now. She didn't have to blow up at Beca like she had. Half the things she said to the smaller girl weren't even true.

She decides to send her best friend an email. She hasn't actually seen her best friend since the summer they met a couple years ago, but they called, texted, emailed and skyped. She writes all about the semi-finals, what happened, what she's said, what she feels. She may have mentioned a few thousand times this year that she has a thing for the alt girl that drives her absolutely crazy.

She's pleased when she gets a response almost immediately. Her best friend tells her that she was too harsh, and that Beca was probably only trying to help. She tells Aubrey that she needs to make it right, and that she should probably get to know Beca better if she wants a shot with her.

Aubrey knows all that. She doesn't know what came over her. Well she does, but that doesn't make it okay. She sighs. The girls would probably be leaving for spring break tomorrow, so she decides to find Beca first thing in the morning and apologize. She hopes she can catch the younger girl before she leaves.

* * *

 **I know the chapters are rather short, they'll get longer later in the story, I promise. What do you think?**


	3. Chapter 2

Beca's working on her mixes. She's waiting for her roommate to leave for Spring Break so that she can sulk without the risk of dying via racist Asian. Once Kimmy Jin leaves, Beca has no plans of leaving for anything other than work, the bathroom and _maybe_ the grocery store should she decide she needs to drown her sorrows in unhealthy fats, chocolates and other sweets. When did she become such a girl?

She should have known that whatever she had been doing wouldn't last. Everyone leaves, right? Mom. Dad. Brayden. Chloe. Now Aubrey. Not that Aubrey had ever really been there in the first place. The girl hates her guts, but Beca _feels_ something around her. She hasn't felt anything but pain since Chloe had left four and a half years ago.

 _It doesn't matter_. Beca thinks to herself. _She would never go for the likes of you anyway_.

When Beca's satisfied with her latest mix, she decides she should go to the bathroom before she starts another one. She knows once she's in she won't want to interrupt her rhythm to use the bathroom.

She opens her dorm room door only to encounter a fist in her face.

"Ow," Beca yells. "What the fuck!?"

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to! I was just going to knock on your door, but…"

Beca _knows_ that voice. She wasn't expecting it. Why would she be here after all?

"What are you doing here?" Beca asks.

"I wanted to see you."


	4. Chapter 3

It's Friday. Beca looks up at the clock as she finishes getting dressed. One minute until ten. She smiles as she grabs her phone and her wallet and her keys.

There's a light knock on the door. Beca immediately knows who it is. The knock is too light to be her father, who would normally just let himself in anyway. How he manages to have keys to a student dorm is beyond her.

Beca opens the door and her smile brightens as Aubrey hands her a cup of coffee. It's been their routine all week. Beca's not sure how they became so friendly so quickly, but after Aubrey had apologized profusely on Saturday, they'd been hanging out.

It's nice, Beca thinks, to be spending time with Aubrey. There's not really anyone else around, and they spend their days together talking and laughing and just enjoying each other's company. Sure they still bicker sometimes, but about stupid meaningless things that neither of them really take to heart.

They've been spending almost all of Spring Break together. Even when Beca's mixing, Aubrey has been there either studying or reading. Beca marvels at how well they've been coexisting together the last week.

"So I got a call this morning, while I was working out," Aubrey says as they're walking through the town.

"Oh?" Beca says.

"The Foot Notes were disqualified. It turns out their lead singer is still in high school."

Beca's slightly amused by this, but she still doesn't know why Aubrey is telling her this.

"I'm glad you're getting your shot at the finals," Beca says. "I'm sure you will all be amazing." Beca's trying to be supportive, and though Beca knows that they'll be at the top of their game, she also knows that unless Aubrey starts whistling a different tune, they're not going to win with the set that Aubrey's been pushing all year.

Aubrey frowns at Beca. "I was hoping you'd come back to the Bellas," she says. "I really am sorry about that night. I know you were only trying to help, and you really do belong with us. You make us better."

Beca opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She thinks she hears Aubrey whisper "You make _me_ better," but then she thinks better of it, writing it off as wishful thinking.

"I really don't know what to say," Beca says.

"Say you'll come back and create a whole new set list?" Aubrey says. She's looking at Beca with an expression that's caught between a lost puppy and a hopeful innocent child.

"Are you serious?" Beca asks.

"Dixie Chicks serious," Aubrey says.

Beca opens her mouth. She's at a loss for words. As much as she had pushed Aubrey to change the set list, she'd reluctantly come to terms with the fact that Aubrey wasn't going to budge. But now she is? What changed?

It took Beca several minutes to finally say something, though it wasn't actually an answer. It was something that had been plaguing her since she realized break was coming to an end soon.

"Does that mean that _this_ –" Beca points a finger between Aubrey and herself, "Whatever this is, is going to continue, I mean, once break is over and we're back to real life?"

Beca grimaces at hurt that washes over Aubrey's face. She didn't mean to…Well she's not sure exactly, but she just needed some reassurance, that this isn't a phase or a dream or a fluke or some last resort. Because let's face it, girls like Aubrey Posen don't associate with girls like Beca Mitchell. Aubrey had made that clear from the moment they had met. And Beca already knows that everyone leaves. Beca just didn't know _when_ they would leave. Beca had almost assumed that as soon as Aubrey's friends were back, she would just forget about Beca.

Then again, Beca thinks herself a masochist for even entertaining the thought of hanging out with Aubrey as she's been doing all week, because she _knows_ that Aubrey isn't here to stay. She can't help herself though, without much more than an apology, Aubrey's managed to start chipping away at the walls she'd been building since the day Chloe received her acceptance letter. Walls that only managed to grow higher when she realized that Chloe wasn't going to call or write or contact her in any form. But here is Aubrey, making her feel things she never thought she would feel again.

Beca's quite certain that this won't be the same. It's mostly because Beca's pretty positive that Aubrey is straighter than an arrow, and therefore they'd never reach the same level of intimacy that she had shared with Chloe. They would only ever be friends. But Beca's certain it will end the same. With Aubrey leaving after graduation. She would leave Beca heartbroken again in her wake.

And yet Beca welcomes the inevitable heartbreak. Not because of the heartbreak. But because of Aubrey. Because she wants Aubrey. Even if she only gets her as a friend. Even if she only gets her for a few months.

"Do you not want to be friends?" Aubrey asks. She sounds vulnerable. Aubrey _never_ sounds vulnerable. Beca kind of wants to kick herself for making Aubrey sound like that.

"No, I do!" Beca backpedals. "I just…" Beca growls in frustration. "This is going to sound really bad, God, I'm such a fuck-up."

Aubrey puts her hand on Beca's arm. Beca's surprised that her first reaction isn't to pull her arm out of the blonde's reach. She's even more surprised that the action manages to calm her.

"Sorry," Beca says. "I guess I was just scared that when everyone comes back, things would go back to the way they were."

Aubrey shakes her head. "I can't fault you for that," she says. "But I don't want things to go back to the way they were. We can be better. I want us to be better."

Beca smiles at Aubrey. "I want that, too."

A beat. "So…..?" Aubrey says.

Beca raises her brow.

"Will you come back?" Aubrey says.

"I get to create the set list?" Beca asks.

Aubrey nods.

"Then yes," Beca says.

Aubrey grins. "Fantastic."

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	5. Chapter 4

Aubrey smiles as she walks into the Bellas rehearsal space an hour before practice to find Beca already there. Beca's laptop is on the table in front of her, her headphones placed delicately on her head, her brow is furrowed in concentration. As Aubrey approaches she can see the figurative lightbulb go off inside Beca's head. Beca's eyes light up and she smirks at the electronic in front of her, fiddling with buttons on the screen until she's staring at it proudly, obviously having solved whatever problem she was having.

Aubrey loves seeing Beca like this – in her element. There's something about the passion that Beca has; she wishes she had seen this before…everything happened.

"Hey," Aubrey calls out. Beca doesn't hear her. It's no wonder with those bulky headphones covering her ears. She approaches Beca slowly, not wanting to startle her, but Beca doesn't notice. Aubrey taps her lightly on the shoulder and Beca jumps, nearly falling out of her seat. Aubrey tries not to laugh, but fails. She's laughing as she asks Beca if she's okay and helps her back to her feet.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Aubrey says. "I called out, but you had your headphones on."

Beca smiles and rolls her eyes. She straightens herself on the chair. "Come here," Beca says, pulling Aubrey into her lap.

Aubrey can't help the butterflies that erupt in her stomach, nor can she help the smile that's threatening to split her face in half. She loves how close she and Beca have become, and there's a part of her that wishes things could stay like this forever. The rest of her hopes that they can become something more. One thing she knows is that she never wants to lose Beca from her life.

"Listen to this," Beca says as she lifts her headphones from their place around her neck and places them carefully on Aubrey.

Listening to Beca's work makes Aubrey fall even deeper into the pit that is Beca Mitchell. At this point, she's so far in that she can't even tell which way is out. Not that she really wants to. Aubrey never really knew just how talented Beca is. And this is the first time in the month that they've been hanging out that Beca has let her listen to one of her mixes.

"That is amazing!" Aubrey says as she lets the headphones slide onto her neck.

Beca looks down at her feet. Aubrey's smile falls a little at the action.

When Beca speaks again, her voice is small, quiet and incredibly weak. "Really? You think so?"

It's in this moment that Aubrey thinks she gets why Beca doesn't let anyone listen to her mixes. She thinks about the mix she just listened to, and how it just about accurately described their…relationship. It was the perfect mix of confidence and insecurity, courage and fear, happy and sad; it was everything. It was an intense look into the mind and heart and soul of Beca, and Aubrey was honored to have had the opportunity to see it.

Aubrey lifts Beca's chin up to look into the smaller girl's eyes. "It's incredible Beca," Aubrey says. "I had no idea you were _that_ good."

Beca smiles.

"So I'm assuming, because you actually let me listen to this one, this is our new set, right? Because it's amazing, and I can't wait to get started on the choreography."

Beca frowns. "Oh no, Posen," Beca says. "No, no, no, no, No. We are so _NOT_ using that for finals. Abso-fucking-lutely not."

Aubrey is taken aback by Beca's violent reaction to her statement. "I'm sorry," Aubrey says. "I just thought that–"

"No." Beca says.

"Okay," Aubrey says. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

Beca takes a deep breath. "No, I'm sorry, I'm just – I'm – I don't know. That mix…it's for your ears only, okay?"

Aubrey smiles at Beca. She kind of loves that Beca made a mix just for her. A part of her, though, is severely worried about the fact that Beca still hasn't finished the set. It's to the point where they're still practicing the old set because Aubrey doesn't exactly know what to do with them until she has a new set and can make up new choreography.

"That's… I like that," Aubrey says. "And not to take away from this feel good moment, but any headway on the actual set? Because we're cutting it kind of close now."

Beca laughs. Straight up in your face laughs at Aubrey. Aubrey frowns because she doesn't see what's so funny. And it doesn't look like Beca wants to share.

"I think so," Beca says when she calms down. "Can I run rehearsal today?"

"Can I hear what you've got?" Aubrey asks.

"When everyone else does."

Aubrey scowls. "Fine."

Aubrey's not sure how, but somehow their conversation had gone from Bellas talk to Beca attempting to reenact a scene that happened in her Philosophy class. It doesn't actually make sense, but it has Aubrey and Beca doubled over in stitches when the Bellas arrive.

"What's going on?" Grace asks.

"The apocalypse has come and hell has frozen over. We're standing in the remnants of it," Fat Amy says.

"Oh good, everyone's here," Aubrey says, clapping her hands together. She doesn't exactly know how to explain what they've walked in on, especially since none of them really know that they've become friends. Because Bellas rehearsal still consist of many arguments between the two of them, which Aubrey is starting to think Beca starts on purpose. So she just ignores the question, choosing simply to let Amy's remark hang in the air.

"Oh," Beca says. She rummages through her bag and gives Aubrey a CD. Aubrey looks at it. It's a simple CD-R with the words Bellas Finals on it.

Aubrey smiles. Apparently Beca has finished their set, and she can't wait to listen to it.

"So," Aubrey says, gathering everyone's attention. "Beca seems to have beaten the idea into my head that we should change the set."

"Thank God," Stacie says.

"So what do you think of this?" Aubrey says. She puts the CD into the player and lets the music fill the rehearsal space.

It's beautiful, Aubrey thinks, and perfect. She has ideas forming in her head with choreography as the music plays. She looks over at Beca and smiles. Beca smiles back at her, looking proud of herself.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	6. Chapter 5

It's a twelve thirty nine on Wednesday which means Beca is at her weekly 'lunch date' with Grace. Or as Beca sees it, the hour a week she spends outside of the Bellas with Grace so that Grace doesn't randomly show up with the key she somehow has to Beca's dorm room and drag her out.

Grace is asking Beca questions. Beca isn't even listening. It's the same thing every week. Every once in a while she tunes in, but mostly she'll lose herself in her own head.

As Beca finishes her latest mix idea in her head, she tunes back into what Grace is saying just in time to hear her ask, "So what's up with you and Aubrey?"

Beca doesn't want to talk about Aubrey. About how Aubrey makes her feel things. About how Aubrey makes her want things. About how Aubrey makes her want her. Beca doesn't want to talk to Grace at all, and after all this time, Grace still tries. If it were anybody else, there's a chance Beca's disposition could have changed, for better or worse, but this was Grace.

Beca's decided she's had enough.

"This," Beca says gesturing between her and Grace, "isn't a thing."

Grace's eyes widen. "I didn't mean that like that," Grace says. "I'm not like jealous or anything I just noticed –"

"No," Beca says. "That's not what I mean. What I mean is you and I, we're not friends Grace."

Grace actually looks hurt by this and it makes Beca feel a little guilty. Something she swears she wouldn't have felt if it hadn't been for Aubrey and the making her feel things again.

"What?" Grace says.

"We're not friends," Beca says. "We were never friends. If things were different, maybe we might have been. I mean, you seem like a nice enough girl, most of the time, but I don't trust you. I _can't_ trust you. So we can never really be friends."

"I don't understand," Grace says.

"You're like a mole, or a rat or something," Beca says. "Running to my dad with every new bit of information you get about me and my life. I don't even _like_ my dad anymore. I don't want him to know anything about me."

Grace's jaw drops.

"I'm not saying this to be mean," Beca says. "I'm just getting annoyed with you constantly badgering me with questions that you already know I have no intentions of answering. I can fake a smile with the rest of them, but it gets tiring after a while. It's nothing against you personally, like I said, in another life, we might be friends, I just can't."

"Is this about Aubrey?" Grace asks.

Beca huffs. "No," she says. "This has nothing to do with Aubrey. But clearly you think there's something going on there, so why don't you run along to my dad and whisper all your theories into his ear."

Beca is glaring at Grace now. She's still fucking digging.

"I just think it's strange how she's decided to change the set list. You had to have come about to some sort of…arrangement for that to happen. I've been trying to get her to change the set list all year."

"Fine," Beca says. "You want something to go tell daddy. I fucked Aubrey's dad so he would tell her that her set list sucks."

Grace's eyes widen in shock. "And that's how I maintain my grades too. I fuck all my professors and in return I get passing grades. I'm just a little fucking whore. In fact, last week I fucked Jack. Yeah, he didn't go home to his parents'. We got a hotel room and fucked all weekend long."

None of that is true. Beca's only ever made love with Chloe. But Grace doesn't need to know that. Grace doesn't need to know anything. Beca's not sure if Grace buys that. It almost seems like she does. Beca would almost pay to see the look on her father's face when Grace tells him all that. Time to put the final nail in the coffin.

"I fucked Jesse. That's why he's obsessed with me. Wants me to be his fucking girlfriend now, but he wasn't even a good lay, and I'm not a one man kind of girl," Beca says. Not to mention she's gay and doesn't like men. If she did, maybe she'd still have Brayden.

Beca gets up and walks out. She's angry and annoyed and frustrated, but more than anything she's sad. She's not entirely sure why, but all she wants to do right now is find Aubrey. Because Aubrey can make the bad feelings go away.

* * *

Aubrey is surprised when Beca shows up at her door. She's on the phone with her best friend, but tells her she'll call her back when she opens the door and sees a tearstained Beca on the other side.

"Beca what's wrong?" Aubrey asks.

Beca breaks down. Aubrey's never seen Beca like this and it scares her. She doesn't know what to do and all Beca is saying is that she doesn't even know.

So Aubrey does the only thing she can think of. She wraps her arms around Beca and holds her, whispering that everything's going to be okay until Beca falls asleep in her arms. She carries the younger girl to the bed. She was just going to tuck Beca in and call her best friend back, but Beca's sleeping form won't let her leave, so she just curls up around Beca and falls asleep next to her.

* * *

 **I know this chapter's sort of weird, but what do you think?**


	7. Chapter 6

It's the day of finals. Beca is beyond nervous because this is it. This is Aubrey's last chance at redemption for last year's PukeGate, and Beca wants so much to win, just because Beca knows it will make Aubrey feel amazing. And sure, Beca thinks it'll do her good, do all of them good, to win finals.

Beca's been spending all of her free time with Aubrey, and the older girl has quickly become Beca's best friend. Aubrey makes her heart race and her breathing stagger, and Beca's been trying to figure out if Aubrey could ever think of her in the same way she thinks of Aubrey. She still hasn't figured that one out yet.

She sees Grace out of the corner of her eye. Grace hasn't talked to Beca again outside of Bellas related material. Beca is grateful for that. She supposes she took it a little too far that day, but Grace just wasn't giving up and Beca did what she had to do. Beca knows everything's going to be okay though, because Aubrey just held her and comforted her when Beca finally relayed the story of what happened to make Beca turn up unannounced at her doorstep, crying. She even laughed. And that was all Beca had needed.

Beca, in a moment of impulsive need, decides to apologize to Grace. She walks over to where she's standing in the wings.

"Hi Grace," she says awkwardly. She's never been good at the whole apology thing.

Grace shoots her a dirty look, and looks away, not otherwise responding.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being a dick at lunch that day. You're…nice, and it wasn't really you, just me and my problems with my dad you kind of got stuck in the middle of. You didn't deserve that and I'm really sorry," Beca says. It almost surprises Beca how sincere she's being. She absently blames Aubrey in her mind.

"You really think sorry is going to make things better Beca?" Grace says. "You fucked my boyfriend and you think we can go back to being friends?"

Beca is taken aback. "Wait, hold up," Beca says. "You really think I fucked your boyfriend? Did you seriously think I was being honest about fucking everyone?"

"Well you said –"

"I wasn't being serious. I was saying the most outrageous things. You really think I would fuck your boyfriend? My professors? You think I fucked Aubrey's dad just so she would change the set?"

"When you say it like that," Grace says. "It does sound kind of absurd."

Beca rolls her eyes. "I don't sleep around, Grace," Beca says. "I don't believe in fucking or the hump and dump or whatever. I believe in making love. I've made love with exactly one person. Someone I loved and cherished and someone I could see myself spending forever with."

"I kind of feel like an idiot now," Grace says. "I broke up with Jack because I thought he cheated with you."

"You can do better," Beca says. "Jack was kind of a douche anyway."

"So friends?" Grace says.

Beca shakes her head. "I meant what I said," she says. "Not about the fucking, but everything else. You're nice, but knowing that you've been narcing on me to my dad, I just can't be your friend. Not in this lifetime."

Grace nods. Beca thinks she finally understands. "I stopped, you know," Grace says. "He wasn't happy about it, so naturally neither was my mom. But it'll be okay. I'm heading to Wisconsin after graduation. Got a job at a research company in Milwaukee."

"That's good," Beca says. "I'm happy for you."

They aren't friends. They never will be. But Beca's happy that things have been resolved. Because Beca really does think Grace is a good person. And while they'll never be friends, Beca thinks they can be civil now. She looks over toward Aubrey who smiles at her. She's clearly been watching the whole time.

"Let's do this," Beca mouths to Aubrey as they get ready to take the stage.

* * *

Aubrey feels invincible as the crowd applauds them after their performance. She hugs Beca and Grace and Stacie and even Fat Amy as she basks in the glorious feeling of putting your heart into your performance and it paying off. Even if they don't win, though she thinks they will, but if they don't it was still all worth it. She feels as if she might have erased the memory of last years finals, as if she's broken free, not just from that single incident, but from everything that has been holding her back.

When they announce the Bellas the winners of the ICCAs, the feelings only heighten. She doesn't even think about it when she pulls Beca into a kiss in front of everyone in Lincoln Center, all she knows is she wants to kiss Beca and that anything is possible, so she goes for it.

And it sure does feel amazing, especially because, by some strand on luck, Beca is kissing her back, just as fervently.

"Woo," Fat Amy yells. "Get it shawshank."

Aubrey smiles into the kiss. When they break, she leans her forehead against Beca's, looking in her eyes for any trace of regret or uncertainty. When she finds none, she grins as Beca pulls her in for another kiss.

"I've wanted to do this for so long," Beca whispers when they break again.

"So have I," Aubreys whispers back.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	8. Chapter 7

There's only three weeks until Aubrey graduates and Beca is taking it really hard. They haven't talked about what will happen after graduation and Beca is preparing herself for the inevitable. Everybody leaves. So she hasn't seen or talked to Aubrey in about a week.

Beca knows that her plans of distancing herself are over when Grace barges into her room demanding to see Aubrey. Only Beca knows Aubrey isn't there, and if Grace is here that means she can't find Aubrey anywhere else.

Apparently Grace has been calling Aubrey for the last three days after Aubrey missed her presentation in their class. Aubrey hasn't been answering.

Beca calls Aubrey and she answers on the first ring. Beca can hear that Aubrey's been crying and it breaks her heart a little.

"Bree, baby, where are you?" Beca asks. Concern is lacing her voice because Aubrey Posen doesn't cry.

"Beca?" Aubrey says. Her voice is small and timid and Beca hates herself for making Aubrey sound that way. "Where did you go?"

"Bree, baby," Beca says. "I'll tell you everything, I just need to see you. Where are you?"

"I'm at my friend's place," Aubrey says.

"What's the address?" Beca asks. "I'm coming over."

* * *

Aubrey is scared because she _loves_ Beca. She's not entirely sure how that happened, and she's sure the repercussions from her family would be huge if they ever found out, but she thinks as long as Beca's by her side, she'll be okay with whatever happens. The only problem is Beca hasn't been by her side. Beca's been dodging her calls, leaving her texts unanswered, not even opening the door when Aubrey comes by. So she's come to the only logical conclusion she can come up with. Beca's breaking up with her.

They haven't even been together that long, it's only been a couple weeks since the ICCAs. And still Aubrey's heart is breaking. So she finds herself sitting in her best friend's nearly empty apartment, because her best friend isn't here yet and wouldn't be for a while, but Aubrey has her own key and is helping make the place look livable for when her best friend finally does arrive and makes it her own.

When Beca arrives twenty minutes after they hung up, Beca pushes her up against the wall and kisses her. Aubrey can't help but think that it feels like a last kiss as she reciprocates.

"I'm sorry," Beca breathes when the kiss breaks.

Aubrey tenses. This is it, right? This is the part where Beca breaks up with her.

"I'm sorry I shut you out, I didn't mean to scare you, I just don't know how to deal with the things that go on in my head sometimes," Beca says.

Aubrey relaxes into Beca, kissing her one more time.

"I was so scared you were breaking up with me," Aubrey says. "I thought I was losing you. I only just got you Becs, please don't leave me."

* * *

Beca tenses hearing Aubrey begging her not to leave her. It feels so foreign to her, the thought that she could leave somebody else, instead of somebody else leaving her.

"I could never," Beca says. And she's not lying. She's so in love with Aubrey that it hurts. She's only ever felt this way with Chloe, and it scares her.

"We should talk though," Beca says. She feels Aubrey tense in her arms. "There are things you need to know, about me, about my past…"

They sit down on the floor, because the apartment they're in isn't furnished yet. Beca idly wonders why Aubrey's been hiding in an unfurnished apartment, but lets the thought pass her by for the moment.

"My dad walked out on me and my mom when I was in third grade," Beca says. She feels Aubrey's hand tighten around hers. "My mom had to work twice as hard to keep us afloat, so it was almost like I lost both of my parents when my dad walked out. He literally just waltzed out of our lives. No phone calls or letters, not even on my birthday. I didn't see him again until last year when he showed up on our doorstep insisting that I need to go to college."

Beca can feel the words 'I'm sorry' on the tip of Aubrey's tongue, but she is glad when they never come. Instead, Aubrey pulls Beca into her arms and holds her as Beca continues talking.

"When my dad left, my best friends, my only friends, were there for me, so I thought I would be okay. Only I lost one of my best friends when I started dating the other one. I was broken up about it, but I had my girlfriend and she comforted me telling me that he was an idiot and such. And things were good for a while. I felt on top of the world when I was with her and I was completely in love with her."

Beca can feel Aubrey's apprehension with Beca talking about being in love with somebody else, and Beca would be lying if she said that she isn't still in love with Chloe, but now she's in love with Aubrey too, and Chloe is off in God knows where doing her own thing. She isn't coming back.

"I knew things were over between us when she got her college acceptance letter. She was older than I was and she would be leaving me when the upcoming summer was over. I knew it, but I still wasn't ready for it when it came. She told me she loved me but she needed to go on and live her life, and then she was gone. I haven't heard from her since."

Aubrey places a kiss on Beca's shoulder and Beca wonders if she knows just how much she helps her. She wonders how Aubrey seems to know exactly what Beca needs to continue.

"When she left I had nobody. I mean technically I still had my mom, but she was always working. School was hell without her. Things changed drastically and school was no longer a safe place. I became the school punching bag. I stopped trusting people after that. But then I met you, and you wormed your way into my heart without even trying to. And I'm terrified because after everything that's happened, I don't know what I would do if you left me, because I'm so in love with you Aubrey, and I know it seems so soon to be saying that, but I am. I am completely and irrevocably in love with you. And because of that, I need to know that you're not just going to leave me when you graduate, and if you are, then you need to leave now, because I don't think I could handle it again."

"I'm in love with you, too," Aubrey says. Beca feels herself relax as Aubrey whispers the words into her ear. "I'm not leaving you, I couldn't if I tried. I'm not even leaving Barden. I'm staying here for law school."

Beca turns around in Aubrey's arms and kisses her. Feeling safer than she's ever felt.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	9. Chapter 8

_FIVE MONTHS LATER_

Beca's had a long day. She had her last midterm today and she's pretty sure she's failed every single one. Okay so maybe she's being a little dramatic, but she _feels_ like she didn't do well. Not to mention Jesse still acts like a kicked puppy every time she sees him because he can't seem to understand that Beca just doesn't like him the way he wants her to. She's gay, so even if she wasn't completely in love with her girlfriend, he doesn't have a chance with her anyway. And she had to work with him today, and it wasn't even the usual, Beca's in the booth and Jesse's stacking CDs. She had to stack CDs with Jesse for the first time since the semester started months ago.

All Beca wants to do is have a nice quiet night relaxing with her girlfriend, so she heads to her apartment. There's a car Beca doesn't recognize in the driveway. Beca guesses it must be Aubrey's best friend, who, despite having been here for the last two months as a grad student, Beca hasn't met yet. It's not like Aubrey hasn't tried to get the three of them to hang out together, Beca just always manages to find an excuse not to. She's not comfortable with the idea of having to share Aubrey with somebody else, even though she knows it's not the same.

Beca stands there for a moment debating whether or not to head inside or head back to her dorm room. She really just needs Aubrey's arms around her, so Beca decides it's time to meet the best friend, even though she still doesn't really want to, and heads inside.

Beca lets herself in, because the door isn't locked whenever Aubrey's expecting someone (usually Beca). She sees a jean jacket folded neatly over the back of the sofa, and a pair of moccasins that don't belong to Aubrey paired neatly by the door. She hears Aubrey's laugh echoing through the apartment, and Beca realizes they must be on the balcony. She bypasses the half empty bottle of wine on the counter and grabs a beer from the fridge before making her way to the balcony.

Beca freezes in the doorway. She hasn't even greeted her girlfriend yet, because standing there on the balcony, laughing with Aubrey is Chloe. _Chloe_ , whom she still loves regardless of the fact that it's been four years since she's seen or heard from her. _Chloe_ , whom she spent five wonderful years with, and years being friends before that. _Chloe_ , whom broke her heart when she went gallivanting off to England to explore the world.

Beca doesn't quite know what to do. She doesn't know how to process the scene it front of her. She doesn't know how to process seeing Chloe again for the first time in years. She doesn't know how to process that her girlfriend is best friends with her ex-girlfriend. _How does that even happen?_

It's only when she feels two sets of eyes on her that she moves again. It's only slight, the tensing of her body, but it's enough.

"Becs!" Aubrey says. "I missed you!"

Aubrey gets up and moves towards Beca, but all Beca can see is the way that Chloe is looking at her. She looks…heartbroken, like she even has the right to look that way, and her eyes bleed apologies and _hope_. It's too much for Beca to handle, so before Aubrey gets to her, she's already bolted out the door, leaving Aubrey hurt and confused in her wake.

* * *

Aubrey doesn't know what happened. One second she was laughing with her best friend, and then she saw her girlfriend in the doorway, but before she could get to her, she ran away like she'd been burned.

"Go after her," Chloe says.

Aubrey nods, and runs after Beca, but she hasn't a clue where Beca ran off to.

Aubrey checks the radio station, but Luke says she hasn't come by. The thought that Luke might be covering for her briefly crosses her mind, but then Aubrey doesn't exactly know _why_ Beca ran away, so she thinks she should keep looking.

Aubrey checks her dorm room, but her roommate (thankfully more pleasant than Kimmy-Jin had been) politely tells her that she hasn't seen Beca since she got up for classes earlier that morning.

Aubrey checks every place she thinks Beca might go. She even checks back at her apartment in case Beca decided to return, but she found the place empty, only a note from Chloe saying she's gone home.

It's mere chance that she finds Beca. Aubrey's on her way to check the radio station again, in case Beca had turned up since. She'd just been to _Distinctive Design_ , their favorite little café, coming up empty once again. She had decided to take a shortcut through Mably Park, a place she doesn't frequent, only passing through when she's in a hurry.

She spots Beca near the center of the park, sitting at the edge of the pond with her knees pulled up close to her chest, her head resting on her knees as she looks out over the still water.

Aubrey sits down beside her, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. She feels Beca tense momentarily, but just as quickly, the tension fades and Beca relaxes into her. Aubrey wants to ask what happened. She needs to know what she did wrong, because she simply has no idea. She doesn't say anything.

"I love you" is the first thing Beca says. It's soft and genuine and twinged with a sadness that makes Aubrey want to cringe.

"I love you, too," Aubrey says, pulling Beca closer to her. She places a small kiss on the top of Beca's head.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	10. Chapter 9

Beca had her headphones on and her head in her laptop, working on her latest mix which is somewhat reminiscent of how she's been feeling, a mixture of sadness and anger and confusion and pain with a little bit of happy thrown in there. Well, she's still trying to make it work anyway.

She's sitting at a table in the back of _Magic Beans_ , a small little coffee shop in town. Now, Beca doesn't know about the coffee, because she doesn't like the stuff, but they've got a dragonfruit iced tea that Beca swears is magical. And despite her distaste for coffee, she loves the atmosphere of local coffee shops. They're quiet and comfortable and perfect for working on mixes.

Well, usually they are. Today there seems to be an above average flow of traffic through the small shop, and all the tables are actually filled. And it doesn't help that her mind can't focus on her mixes anyway because there's lingering thoughts of Aubrey and Chloe, neither of which she's actually spoken to about…well any of it.

She knows she should at least talk to Aubrey, and she will, she just has to get up the nerve to tell her. She should probably talk to Chloe too, but she has no idea where to even start with all that.

Just Beca's luck though, Chloe is there getting her coffee and manages to see Beca in the corner of her eye. She's coming toward Beca and Beca has a feeling she's not getting out of having this conversation now. Great.

"Hi," Chloe says.

Beca looks up into cerulean blue eyes that still make her stomach flip after all these years.

Beca means to just acknowledge the greeting, but all the thoughts jumbling in her head lead her to blurting out, "What are you doing here?" instead.

Chloe is taken aback, clearly not expecting that. Her eyes dull a little bit and Beca is annoyed at herself for feeling guilty about that.

"Um, getting coffee," Chloe says.

Beca narrows her eyes. "That's not what I meant," she says. She crosses her arms waiting for an answer.

"Sorry, it's just…you seem so different," Chloe says. "I'm not sure what to say."

"Well why don't you start with why you suddenly pop up in my life after years of having no contact with me after shattering my heart to miniscule pieces just when I've finally let myself fall in love again?"

Beca hears a gasp. She shifts slightly to see Aubrey a few feet behind Chloe, clearly having heard everything she just said. Great.

Aubrey comes up to the table, looking back and forth between Beca and Chloe.

"How did you guys even meet?" Beca asks.

"I pulled Aubrey out of the street so she wouldn't get hit by a truck a few years ago," Chloe answers.

Beca didn't see that one coming. She doesn't know what to say to that. She closes her eyes and wills the pain in her head (and her heart) away. She closes her laptop. "I don't think I can do this right now," Beca says.

"No," Chloe says. "I'll go."

"I was going to leave anyway," Beca lies. She puts all her things into her laptop case and stands to leave.

"Beca, wait," Aubrey says "Are we okay?"

Beca sets her bag down and pulls Aubrey into her arms. She kisses her softly and says, "I love you. We're great." She steps back and looks between Chloe and Aubrey. "I just don't know if I am," she says before she takes her leave.

* * *

Aubrey sits, or lets gravity pull her into the chair where Beca was moments ago. Chloe sits down opposite her.

"I really should have seen this coming," Aubrey says.

"What do you mean?" Chloe asks.

"You two," Aubrey says. "Beca's story of the girl who broke her heart, your story of the girl you left behind, it all fits together, now that I think about it."

Chloe sighs. "I didn't think life could get this complicated," she says. "I mean what are the chances?"

"Should I be worried?" Aubrey asks.

"What do you mean?" Chloe asks.

"I know that Beca loves me," Aubrey says. "But I also know that she never got over you, and I've been unknowingly listening to you talk about her for the last few years and about how much you regret leaving her behind and how much you still love her and how you're scared, but you want her back. And I love you, you're my best friend, so I just need to know… Should I be worried?"

Chloe shakes her head. "No," she says. "You're my best friend, I would never do that to you. Am I still in love with Beca? Yes, absolutely. Would I ever try to steal her away from you? Never. You guys are my two favorite people, and I can see how happy you make each other, and all I want in this world is for the both of you to be happy."

"This is going to be hard on you, though," Aubrey says.

"I think it's going to be hard on all of us, but it's probably going to be hardest on Beca," Chloe says.

Chloe's right. It's already hardest on Beca. Aubrey can't even imagine what Beca's going through right now.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	11. Chapter 10

To say that Aubrey's worried would be beyond an understatement. She hasn't seen or heard from Beca since she ran into Beca and Chloe in the coffee shop over a week ago. She's tried not to be overbearing, but she sent cute little messages the first few days knowing Beca still needs to wrap her head around Chloe being back in her life, but after a few days of not hearing anything she starts texting more often, and then calling, but Beca never answers, not even the 'please just let me know you're alive' texts she's sent in the last two days.

She hasn't seen Chloe either, but they've been texting. At least she knows Chloe's okay (As okay as she can be knowing that the girl that she's in love with is in love with her best friend). Chloe hasn't heard from Beca either, but then Chloe hasn't made an effort to contact the younger girl. Aubrey's still trying to wrap her head around this whole thing too, and she's sure that Chloe is in the same boat.

Yesterday Aubrey banged on Beca's dorm room door for an hour until Beca's roommate, Leah, informed her that she hasn't seen Beca in a week either.

Aubrey's currently pacing back and forth in her living room, not even thinking about the fact that she should be in class right now, or that she's missed five classes in the last two days. She's terrified that something horrible has happened to her girlfriend and can't stop picturing her lying dead in a ditch somewhere. She shakes the image out of her head.

God, she would give anything just to be holding Beca right now. She needs to feel her, her heartbeat; she needs to inhale the smoky pine and toasted coconut scent that is so unique and so Beca, she needs to hear Beca whispering that she loves her into her ears because she's so terrified that Beca's going to leave her for Chloe, and she doesn't even know what she would do if that were to happen.

When her phone chimes an hour later, she practically dives for it, hoping it's Beca.

It's Chloe.

 _Beca just showed up at my place._

Aubrey's about to respond when her phone chimes again. Another text from Chloe.

 _I don't even know how she knows where I live._

Her phone chimes again before she can respond.

 _She looks like she wants to yell at me._

And again.

 _I'll send her your way when she's done yelling._

Aubrey finally manages a response telling Chloe thank you as she collapses onto the couch. At least she knows Beca's alive.

* * *

"Beca," Chloe breathes as she opens the door.

Beca just stares her dead in the eyes. Chloe opens the door wider and Beca steps inside. She can feel the anger building up inside her again. She'd just wanted to have a conversation with Chloe, but she can't seem to rid herself of the rage, so she tries to will it away before she opens her mouth.

"Aubrey's been real worried about you," Chloe says softly.

Beca snaps.

"How dare you!" she says. "You have no right to come here and disrupt my life! God, I was finally living again and then there you were, making me feel like I'm back in high school. _High school_. Those were the worst years of my life and you weren't there!"

"I'm sorry," Chloe says. "I don't know what to say."

"I sent you letters when you left," Beca says. "I figured just because we broke up doesn't mean we couldn't be friends, right? I mean if I could put forth the effort, surely you could do. After all we were friends before we started dating, right? Did you get them?"

"I…" Chloe says. "I got the first one," Chloe says. "I asked my parents to stop forwarding them after that."

Beca nods. "I guess that's better than you getting them," she says, "because I couldn't see how after all those years together, you could read those and still be silent."

"I didn't want you to wait for me," Chloe says. "I mean a part of me did, yeah, but I wanted you to live your life."

"Well you didn't leave me much of a choice," Beca says. "I mean, you were there when my dad left and when my mom was never home because she had to work all the time just to take care of me. And you know I lost Brayden the day I asked you to be my girlfriend. And then you were gone too. The last person in my life and you were gone. And nobody was there. Nobody was there when I had to have three fake teeth put in because Bryant Duncan smashed my face into the steel doors in the gym, knocking them out. Nobody was there when Charlie McGuire and Danny Forbes decided to kick me until I rolled down the stairs and broke three ribs. Nobody was there when Olivia Isles broke every finger in my hand. Nobody was there when Alex Lukowski, Zeb Williams, Mel Ellis and Quentin Norris decided they could fuck the dyke out of me. Nobody was there!"

Beca didn't mean to tell her that much, she didn't mean to tell anybody that much. But it all just came pouring out and before she knew it she was crying and yelling and telling Chloe some of the worst things that had happened to her after Chloe left.

Beca's eyes widen when she realizes exactly what she just said, and runs out. She needs to feel safe, so she goes to the only place she does. Aubrey.

The door is unlocked and she lets herself in. She sees Aubrey stand up from where she was sitting on the couch and Beca slams into her with so much force that it knocks Aubrey back down. Beca's still crying and holding onto Aubrey for dear life, and Aubrey just holds her back, whispering that everything is going to be alright and that she loves her and pressing soft kisses to her head, and Beca can't help but love Aubrey more for it because she knows she's worried Aubrey and she knows she should have responded especially when she got the texts just asking to know that she's alive and she knows Aubrey doesn't deserve that. Hell, she knows Aubrey deserves better than the broken shell of a person she is, but for some inexplicable reason, Aubrey seems to love her, and Beca's holding onto that with everything she is.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	12. Chapter 11

Beca wakes up sore, with an arm hanging off of Aubrey's couch and the other one entwined with Aubrey's hand. Aubrey's arm is holding Beca close, and Beca can feel Aubrey's soft even breaths on the back of her neck. She hums in contentment and tries to focus on Aubrey, timing her breaths with Aubrey's. She doesn't want to think about the night before, but she can't escape it.

She feels the tears silently streaming down her face as she recalls the night before and the events she had accidentally let slip to Chloe.

 _Beca hates gym class. It's just another excuse for them to hurt her without the risk of getting in trouble. It's dodgeball today and Beca's trying to think of an excuse to get out of it. She doesn't need more bruises than she already has. God she hates school._

 _The only thing going in her favor during dodgeball is that Beca is small and agile and therefore can actually dodge most of the balls being aimed at her. She's also developed a pretty good aim, so when she has the opportunity she can peg somebody which allows her to let a little of her frustration out._

 _At the end of gym class she's escaped relatively unscathed only getting hit at the very end by three balls at once. It's been worse._

 _She heads toward the locker rooms to get changed. She's only halfway there when she hears her name being called._

" _Mitchell!" Bryant Duncan calls._

 _Beca just ignores him. He's one of the douchiest guys she's ever met and she didn't like him even when_ _ **she**_ _was around and nobody gave her any trouble._

" _Mitchell!" he calls again._

 _Beca just keeps walking. She can hear him start to head towards her and she only prays she can reach the locker room before he reaches her._

" _Mitchell!" he calls again._

 _He's closer now, and she starts walking a little faster. She's almost there._

 _Suddenly Bryant is behind her slamming her into the steel doors of the gym._

" _You answer me when I'm talking to you," he yells at her. "Understand?"_

 _Beca doesn't respond and he grabs her by the back of the head and smashes her head as hard as he can into the door._

 _Her vision blurs into darkness and the last thing she hears is "That'll teach you stupid dyke."_

A sweet kiss on her shoulder brings Beca back to the present.

"You're okay," Aubrey whispers. "You're okay, I've got you."

Beca is all too aware of how messed up the present is. She's not sure she knows where Chloe's head is at, but she knows that Aubrey must be worried about what she might do now that Chloe is in the picture, and Beca, for her part is thoroughly confused and scared and all sorts of things that she doesn't quite understand.

Beca grips Aubrey's hand tighter and squeaks out, "Please don't leave me."

Because thus far, Aubrey is the only one who hasn't left yet, and Beca's not sure she could survive if she ever did.

Aubrey pulls Beca impossibly closer to her, holding her tightly. "I won't ever let you go," Aubrey says.

Beca turns around, so she's facing Aubrey and kisses her slowly and softly. "Thank you," Beca says.

* * *

Aubrey runs out of the lecture hall. She wouldn't say she dislikes her classes. She actually enjoys a great number of them, but she's a little bit desperate to spend time with her girlfriend, so she rushes to meet up with her by their tree. She hadn't really wanted to go to classes today, but Beca had insisted that she needed to, as much as they would both enjoy spending the whole day together, Beca had said that one of the things she loves about her is that Aubrey has a great sense of responsibility and an impressive drive to succeed in all she does.

Aubrey smiles to herself as she sees Beca standing underneath their tree. She frowns as she gets closer and notices her talking to some guy she doesn't recognize. Beca's posture is tense and defensive and Aubrey quickens her pace slightly.

She announces herself just before she reaches them.

"Hey baby," she says to Beca, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl and placing a quick kiss to her cheek. She feels Beca relax into her arms.

Beca turns slightly to give Aubrey a proper kiss, still just a peck, but it's something that Aubrey thinks they both needed, given the last week or so.

"You should get going," Beca says to the boy. "And like I said earlier, you can fuck-off. You don't have any idea what you're talking about. And while you're at it, tell your sister, she can fuck-off too."

"Beca," Aubrey scolds.

"Sorry, baby," Beca says.

Aubrey barely registers the boy leaving.

"Are you okay?" Aubrey asks. "He seemed like he was making you uncomfortable."

"Yeah," Beca says. "I just wasn't expecting to see him."

"Who was that anyway?" Aubrey asks.

* * *

Chloe plops down on her couch. She considers turning on the television in an attempt to distract her from the thoughts revolving around her two favorite girls, but ultimately decides it's pointless. She's waiting on the Chinese delivery person because she's not leaving her apartment for anything other than classes. She doesn't really want to bump into Beca or Aubrey.

Okay, so she's lying. She really does want to see Beca and Aubrey, preferably not together because that still hurts her heart every time she thinks about it. She knows it's better for now if she just sticks to texting Aubrey, which after years of long-distance friendship, she's used to. And if yesterday was any indication, Beca most certainly won't want to see her.

Chloe's thoughts linger on Beca and what she had said the night before. Guilt courses through her veins for ignoring the younger girl, even if her intentions had been good. She should have known better. But how was she supposed to know that those things would happen? The people Beca had mentioned had all seemed like good people when she was there. How had things changed so drastically?

Chloe wants to hunt them down and make them pay for doing the things that they did, and for hurting Beca of all people. Beca had most definitely changed from the happy little girl she had once been. Chloe could see that she had become dark and jaded. She had only seen the light in her eyes return when she had been telling Aubrey that she loves her and that they're okay. And as much as Chloe wants Beca back, she also wants Beca and Aubrey to be happy, and it seems like they are, so she doesn't want to disturb that. Right now, she just hopes that she and Beca can be friends again. If for nothing but Aubrey's sake.

The doorbell rings and Chloe is relieved because she's kind of starving and Chinese food has always been her go to when she's upset. She grabs her purse, rifling through it for the money as she opens the door.

"You're paying me?" she hears.

She looks up and her eyes widen. She definitely isn't expecting her brother to be standing there in front of her. Her brother who hasn't properly acknowledged her since he went away to boarding school. He's gotten taller than she remembers, though she hasn't seen him since the summer after she graduated high school, and even then, she'd only seen him once or twice when he'd come down to visit because he preferred to spend his summers at school rather than come home.

"Bray," she whispers. It takes her a second, but then she literally jumps on him, wrapping her arms around him in the tightest hug she's ever given. He catches her.

"You're here," she says. She's hoping this isn't a dream because she's really missed her little brother, and she's hoping that him being here means he's letting go and forgiving her.

"Yeah," Brayden says. "I – um – missed you."

"I missed you so much," Chloe says. "I never meant to hurt you. You're my little brother…"

"It's okay, Chlo," Brayden says. "I'm over it… mostly. It's been a long time and I've moved on. I actually have a girlfriend of three years now."

"I know, it's Theresa, right?" Chloe says. "Mom says she's sweet and that she's really good to you and for you. And I'm glad because I want you to be happy Bray."

"Mom told you?" Brayden says.

"Yeah," Chloe says. "Every time I called, I'd ask mom how you're doing. I love you, Bray, I always have."

"I love you, too, Chlo," Brayden says, "but can we move out of the doorway, please?"

Chloe laughs. "Yeah, come in," she says. She leads him into the living room. She's only just gotten there when the doorbell rings again.

That's got to be the Chinese, Chloe thinks. It is. She opens the door and pays the man for her food, tipping him generously.

"Sorry," Chloe says to her brother. "I wasn't expecting company, or I would have ordered more.

"That's okay," Brayden says. "I can't stay all that long anyway, I just wanted to see you. And maybe we can work on being as close as we used to be?"

"There's nothing I'd want more," Chloe says honestly. She's not going to let anything get in the way of repairing her relationship with her little brother.

* * *

Beca's just finished ordering her meal when she feels Aubrey's inquisitive gaze lingering on her. She looks up to meet Aubrey's eyes as Aubrey orders a shepherd's pie and a side salad, never looking away from Beca once.

"So," Aubrey says when the waiter disappears, "Let me know if you're not ready to talk about any of this, okay?"

Beca nods.

"So, that guy?" Aubrey asks

Beca nods.

"How do you know him?" Aubrey asks.

"He used to be my best friend," Beca says.

Beca tries not to feel guilty about that. It's not _really_ her fault they're not friends anymore. She repeats that in her head over and over again.

Beca can feel the question on the tip of Aubrey's tongue. _Used to?_ She's kind grateful that Aubrey isn't asking, and because of that, she answers the unasked question anyway.

"I met him on the first day of pre-school and we clicked right away. He was into all the same things I was into and he didn't think I was weird because I didn't want to play with Barbies and make-up and all the other things girls that age seemed to like. We became best friends in a matter of days. We started to have play dates outside of pre-school. He would come over and we'd play with legos and everything in the world was right, because I was four, and everything is easy when you're four."

Beca still remembers the first time she went to his house for a play date. It was the day she met Chloe.

" _Dad!" Beca whines. "We're gonna be late!"_

 _Beca's dad laughs. "Alright princess, let's go."_

 _Beca grunts at the pet name but runs to the car, buckling herself into the carseat in the back before her dad even reaches the car._

" _Someone's eager," Beca's dad says._

" _I've never been to Brayden's house before," Beca says. "Is it going to be like our house?"_

" _I don't know, princess," Beca's dad says. Beca frowns at the nickname again. "I've never been to his house either."_

 _Beca hops out of the car before it's fully stopped and Beca can hear her dad yelling at her for not being safe but she's at the front door and she's knocking impatiently._

 _The door opens and Beca looks at the girl who's opened the door. She's taller than Beca, but not by_ that _much. She's got long red hair and bright blue eyes and Beca absently thinks that_ this _is what a princess looks like._

 _Mrs. Beale comes up behind her and says "Chloe, what did we say about opening the door when you don't know who it is."_

" _You know me Mrs. Beale!" Beca interrupts her lecture. "It's me! Beca!"_

 _Mrs. Beale laughs. "Of course!" she says. "Brayden's just in the living room, why don't you go on in through there."_

 _Beca shoots off like a rocket to go see Brayden, but not without looking back over her shoulder at the red-headed girl who smiles at her and skips off to play somewhere else._

"He went away to boarding school shortly after I started dating Chloe," Beca says.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	13. Chapter 12

**So... life happened. I swear I haven't abandoned any of my fics, even though it may seem that way sometimes.**

* * *

Aubrey wakes up to a blood-curdling scream that she swears the entire state of Georgia must be hearing and a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. It's four o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday, and she wouldn't normally be up for another two hours, especially since Tuesdays and Thursdays are her longest days of the week, but after that wake – up call she knows she can't go back to sleep until she sees Beca and hold her in her arms. So she throws the first clothes she finds on and runs out the door.

* * *

Beca wakes up with a start. She's sweating profusely and her breathing is heavy and ragged and she's got images she only ever wanted to forget burned into her brain. Leah is staring at her, making Beca really uncomfortable, but she doesn't say anything.

After a moment of really awkward silence, Leah asks, "Are you okay?"

Beca nods once. "Yeah," she says. Her voice is hoarse and still coated with sleep. "I'm just gonna take a shower."

Beca grabs her robe and her shower caddy, makes sure she has her keys and makes her way to the bathroom. It's still early, so the bathroom is empty, just the way Beca likes it.

She slinks to the very last stall on the left and falls to the floor against the shower wall. She slowly strips down taking care not to look at herself, before turning on the shower. She's not really showering, just letting the water cascade over her as she lets herself cry.

She's not sure how long she's been in the shower, all she knows is that the once warm water now runs cold and she has to shake away the fog in her brain to hear her girlfriend calling her name.

"Bree?" Beca calls out.

"Bec, are you okay, baby?" Aubrey says.

Beca shakes her head, knowing that Aubrey can't see her. She's not okay, but she doesn't want Aubrey to know that. She doesn't want to burden Aubrey with her scars. She just wants Aubrey to be happy.

"Yeah," Beca says. "I'll be out in a minute."

There's a pause, and Beca knows that Aubrey knows she's not okay. Beca doesn't even sound convincing to herself.

Three minutes later, Beca emerges, dry, except for her hair, and fully clothed. Aubrey's standing at the other end of the bathroom. She opens her arms and Beca all but flies into them.

Beca still doesn't know how Aubrey seems to know just what Beca needs, but Beca's eternally grateful for it.

It's an unspoken understanding, at least Beca thinks it is, that they're only going back to Beca's dorm so that Beca can get what she needs for the day, so when she gathers her things she sends a head nod in the direction of her roommate, who can't even see it because she's managed to fall back asleep. _Good for her_ , Beca thinks.

Aubrey has her arm around Beca as they walk to Aubrey's apartment. Within seconds of reaching Aubrey's bedroom, Beca is passed out on Aubrey's bed.

* * *

Chloe paces her apartment. She's not sure what she's doing, or what she should do, or even if there is anything to do, because she's half convinced whatever it is, is simply her mind playing tricks on her, but even if it is, it haunts her.

She swears to herself, that she's heard Beca scream because she _knows_ Beca's voice in the most intimate of ways, but it's been so very long since she's _really_ heard it, and Beca wouldn't really be anywhere where Chloe would be able to hear her scream, so she keeps telling herself that Beca is fine (as she can be given their current situation).

Still the sound, imagined or not, haunts her as much as the strangled words that Beca had bled the last time they'd spoken. She can't stop picturing it, the people she used to know, that she had once thought of as good people, acting so maliciously. She can't stop picturing them hurting her (ex) girlfriend, breaking her into the almost unrecognizable person she's become.

And then there's the image that's been engrained into her mind for years, the last memory she has of Beca before all this happened. Beca's eyes pleading for her to stay, tears pouring out as Chloe breaks her heart and her own in the process.

She aches with regret, wishing to go back to that moment and slap some sense into her former self. Every fiber of her being tells her to run back to the girl that had taken her so completely before she even knew it was possible to do so.

Instead she collapses onto the couch letting her worries bleed to nightmares as she slips into unconsciousness once again.

* * *

Beca wakes up warm and comfortable cocooned in Aubrey's arms; the older girl still sleeping soundly beside her.

It amazes Beca that she'd been able to sleep so well. She frowns as she looks at the clock. It can't be right. Aubrey would never skip class, and she certainly wouldn't allow Beca to do so either. She digs her phone out of her pocket. Her frown deepens when it reads the same time as Aubrey's beside clock.

Beca runs her hands along Aubrey's arms.

"Bree?" she says. "Bree, baby, wake up."

Aubrey stirs slightly, but otherwise doesn't respond.

"Wake up, Posen," Beca says, donning the tone Aubrey had once described as her 'don't fuck with me' voice.

Aubrey's eyes snap open, almost in a panic.

"What's going on?" Aubrey asks.

"It's like one o'clock in the afternoon," Beca says, "We both missed two classes."

The tensions leaves Aubrey's body as she says, "I contacted all of our professors and told them we wouldn't be in class today."

"But I –"

"I thought we both could use the rest," Aubrey says. "I'm sorry if I overstepped…but I've never seen you so exhausted."

Beca doesn't know what to say. She loves that Aubrey cares so much about her, and she appreciates Aubrey's concern, but she does wish Aubrey would have consulted her before deciding she wasn't going to class today.

"Beca?" Aubrey says.

Beca looks up into Aubrey's worried eyes.

"What's going on in your head?" Aubrey asks.

Beca goes to say something, but nothing comes out.

"I know neither of us is really great at expressing ourselves, and there's been a lot going on lately,  
Aubrey says, "but I've never seen you like this, and I don't know if it's something to do with me."

"No!" Beca is quick to deny.

"Or if it's because of Chloe, or something else entirely," Aubrey continues, "I just…"

"Look," Beca says. She takes Aubrey's hands into her own. "You're right, I'm not good at the whole talking about my feelings thing, but Bree, _I love you_. That's not something I take lightly. And while I still have some unresolved issues with Chloe, which I honestly never really thought I'd have to deal with, at the end of the day, I love _you_ and I want to be with _you_."

"I don't want to start a fight," Aubrey says, "because I know that you love me and God, Beca, I love you so much, I didn't even know I was capable of loving someone the way I love you. I just, I can't help but worry because even though I know you love me, and I know you'd never want to hurt me, I also know that you still love Chloe."

"Bree, I"

"It's okay," Aubrey says. "I know you have a lot of history with her, and I always knew you never really got over her. I'm not saying that I think you're going to leave me for her, and I'm not saying that's not a concern, I just know that I love you, and you love me, but that you also still love her, and I think she still loves you too. I guess what I'm saying is that I want you to be happy, and you're not. But I think we were, you know? I just want you to be okay again, because even when you tell me that you're fine I can tell that you're not. So whatever it is that you need to do, whatever you need me to do for you, I want to do it. Because I love you Beca Mitchell."

Beca can't help but capture Aubrey's lips in her own. The kiss is soft and slow and passionate and Beca hopes it relays everything that she can't put into words back to Aubrey.

"I love you, too, Aubrey Posen."

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	14. Chapter 13

"So I saw Beca on my way to see you," Brayden says.

Chloe's eyes shoot up to meet her brother's. Beca has been an untouched subject in their meetings since Brayden showed up at her doorstep a month ago. He had been visiting every weekend since then.

"Oh," Chloe says.

If she's being honest, she's a little bit scared of what discussing Beca will mean for them. She knows that Brayden says he's over it, but she doesn't completely believe that. After all, Brayden had loved her too and had loved her first. And Beca had always loved him as a friend and the both of them had been torn up when Brayden had left.

It's also something she knows they have to talk about if they ever really want to get past it.

As for Beca, she's only seen her twice since then, both times from a distance.

"She says that we can both fuck off," Brayden says.

Chloe frowns a little. It's not like they haven't earned that, but she can't deny it still hurts her heart to hear it.

"What happened, Chlo?" Brayden asks. "I thought you guys were happy? I thought you guys were forever?"

"I love you, Beca," Chloe says. "I think I've loved you since the moment I met you. I loved you when you would let my brother beat you in video games that you could squash him in because you were too busy trying to watch me at the same time. You are everything I could ever want in my forever. You're my home."

Chloe wipes the tears from Beca's eyes.

"I'm not ready for that," Chloe says. "I'm only eighteen, I'm not ready for forever. I've got to go out into the world, explore, adventure, just live." And you're only fifteen, you need to live as well. I can't hold you back.

Chloe kisses Beca with everything she has.

"I love you," Beca says when they break the kiss, their foreheads pressed together.

"Someday," Chloe whispers, "Someday I'll be ready to come home."

Chloe doesn't notice the tears silently escaping her.

"We were," Chloe says. "We were happy, and we were supposed to be forever, and then I went and screwed it all up."

"It couldn't have been all you, it takes two people to make a relationship work," Brayden says.

Chloe shakes her head. She had done what everyone before her had done and walked away. This one was all on her and she knew it. She should have known then that nothing would be the same.

"I left her," Chloe says. "I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but in hindsight it did neither of us any good. I was graduating, and I had gotten into Oxford. She was only fifteen, and neither of us would have the money to visit each other once I left. I thought she should be free to live life however she needed to, however she wanted to, so I told her that I loved her and that we would find our way back to each other someday, but then I left."

"Jesus Christ, Chlo," Brayden says. "You left her?"

"Like you have room to speak, Bray, you left both of us behind."

"I know," Brayden says. "But I thought she'd always have you, so she'd be okay."

"I wish I could take it back," Chloe says. "But I can't. And she can't even be in the same room as me anymore, which is really hard because she's dating my best friend and…"

"She's dating your best friend?" Brayden says. "Isn't that like against girl ethics or something?"

"It's complicated," Chloe says. "Bree and I had a very long distance friendship while I was in England. When they started dating, none of us knew the connections that are there, but she came to Bree's apartment while I was there one time, and since then it's been…"

"I'm sorry Chlo," Brayden says.

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

Beca's pacing back and forth wearing down the rug in the living room. Aubrey's eyes follow her girlfriend's figure. She's never seen Beca pace before and she'd be lying if she said it didn't make her nervous.

"Beca, what's going on?" Aubrey finally says.

Beca looks up at Aubrey and she can see the bags under Beca's eyes are darker and more defined than ever. Beca hasn't stayed in her own room in over a month, not that Aubrey's complaining, but every once in a while, Aubrey's had to wake Beca up from a nightmare, and she's admittedly frustrated that the younger girl won't talk to her about them.

"I don't want to talk to her," Beca says.

Aubrey's not entirely sure who Beca's talking about, but she thinks it's Chloe.

"You don't have to," Aubrey says. "I'm not going to lie and say that I don't wish I could see my girlfriend and my best friend in the same room, but I know there's a lot of history there, and I'd never make you."

Beca shakes her head. "That's not what I… I mean thank you, that means a lot, but I think I do."

"What do you mean?" Aubrey asks.

"I think I have to talk to her," Beca says. "I don't want to, but everything started when I saw her again, and I feel like the only way it's ever going to stop is if I talk to her and gain some type of closure."

"Oh, well if…"

"I just don't know if I can," Beca says. "She broke me, when she left, I sent her letters, but I got nothing back. And the things that happened after she left, they're not her fault, not by a long shot, but if she'd been there, they wouldn't have happened, because I was hers, and nobody could dream of hurting her."

Aubrey's not sure if Beca even realizes that she can't even say her name. Sure, this is more than she's gotten out of Beca in a long while, but Aubrey's not sure if either she or Chloe will ever understand just how damaged Beca is.

"I was better when I was with you," Beca says. "I _am_ better when I'm with you. But when I saw her again, with you, of all people, I think I broke again…"

"Come here," Aubrey says, opening her arms for Beca.

Beca flies into them like they were made for her. Aubrey absentmindedly thinks that they are because nothing feels more right than when Beca is in her arms.

"What do I say to her?" Beca says. "I don't even know how to look at her right now."

"Hey," Aubrey says. She hates this. She hates that Beca feels like this. All she wants to do is go back to when Chloe didn't know Beca was her girlfriend, and Beca didn't know Chloe was her best friend and she didn't know Chloe and Beca are in love too. But she can't. They can't. And they've all got to find ways to deal with it because whatever it is that they are or aren't doing right now clearly isn't working. And if Beca needs to talk with Chloe, Aubrey's going to support her in any way she can, because as bad as she feels right now, and as bad as Chloe feels right now, Aubrey thinks that what Beca feels makes them pale in comparison, not that there's anything to compare.

"Look at me," Aubrey says. Beca slowly meets Aubrey's eyes. "If you need to talk to Chloe,"

Beca winces at the name. So it's _that_ bad.

"If you need to talk to her, then I think you should," Aubrey says. "I don't know how to help you anymore, so I'm following your lead. And if you find you can't do it, that's okay, we'll work on it together, or we'll figure something else out. And if you want me to be there, holding your hand, that's okay too. If you want me to not be there, I can make myself busy. I'm really good at that."

Beca smiles at Aubrey. "Thanks, Bree," she says, "You're the best. I don't know how I got so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one," Aubrey says.

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	15. Chapter 14

**So I guess I was really inspired, because I've got two chapters out in two days, but don't get used to it. I haven't slept in ages, and work is kicking my behind. Without further ado, I give you chapter 14.**

* * *

Beca wants to go now, because if she doesn't go now, she thinks she'll lose her nerve. She's gone back and forth on whether or not she wants Aubrey to come with her, because if Aubrey does come, she'll like learn things about Beca that Beca never wants anyone to find out, least of all Aubrey. She doesn't want Aubrey to know just how damaged she is, because how could anyone look at her the same when they find out?

But Aubrey deserves to know all of Beca, even the parts that Beca doesn't want her to know. Because Aubrey is the best part of Beca. Because Aubrey has stood by Beca through all of this utter confusion and nonsense that makes Beca want to bolt. Because Aubrey loves Beca. And because Beca loves Aubrey.

Bearing all these things in mind, the deciding factor isn't any of that. Beca decides that she wants Aubrey there. Because if Aubrey's going to leave her, she'd rather it be now than later, but mostly because Aubrey is her strength, her haven, her heart, and she doesn't really think she could handle it if Aubrey weren't close by to ground her.

So she takes five minutes of feeling safe in Aubrey's arms before they get up and dressed and head across town to Chloe's apartment.

It's ironic, Beca thinks, that it's Chloe's apartment that she and Aubrey first admitted to each other that they were in love. The kind of irony that makes Beca want to kick somebody's skull in for.

They arrive, and Beca takes a couple minutes just standing outside Chloe's door trying to compose herself. In the end, it's Aubrey's hand slipping into hers, interlocking their fingers that calms her down enough to knock on the door.

Beca thinks the air in her lungs must have evaporated when the door opens and Brayden's on the other side.

"Uh, Chlo," Beca hears Brayden say. His voice is high, tight, panicked, and she wonders what her voice would sound like right now if she could find it.

Chloe appears only seconds later, her eyes widening in shock as she takes in Beca before her.

"Breathe, baby," Aubrey whispers into her ear.

Beca does. She counts in her head. _In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four._ It was the only useful thing her high school guidance counselor had ever helped her with.

"Uh, hi," Beca finally manages to say. Her cheeks tinge with pink because of all the people who had to see her like that, of course it was Chloe, Brayden and Aubrey.

"Hi," Chloe whispers.

Beca watches Chloe's eyes dart between her, Aubrey and Brayden, faster than Beca's eyes can follow right now.

"Oh uh, come in," Chloe says. "Bray, let them in."

Brayden moves out of the way and Beca and Aubrey follow Chloe inside. Brayden shuts the door and follows after them.

There's silence. Beca was thrown off by Brayden being there, and now she's just lost in her own thoughts. Aubrey squeezing her hand brings her down to Earth momentarily before she's drifted back into orbit.

Even though Beca had every intention of talking to Chloe when she came over here. Her mouth seems to have gone dry, and the deadening silence isn't helping. She needs Chloe or Aubrey to say something right now. She knows Aubrey won't though. Because Aubrey is trying to take her lead, something that she appreciates, even if it's not working for her at the moment. Chloe seems to be following the same approach though, as she watches Beca patiently.

Eventually it's Brayden who breaks the silence.

"I'm sorry," Brayden says. "I never should have left, especially after everything…"

Beca's eyes shoot up to meet Brayden's. She senses his sincerity and she tries to give him a small smile since her vocal chords still seem to be tied. She's not sure if it comes across or not thought.

"I know it's not an excuse, but I just didn't know how to be okay with it. I had wanted it to be me so badly, and to see you with my sister, I didn't know how to handle it. I was only ten years old. But I want you to know that I missed you everyday, and that I'm sorry, and that I regret it. I also want you to know that even with all of that, I'd still do it because if I hadn't, I never would have met my girlfriend, and being who I am now, I don't think I could live with that."

Beca nods. She appreciates his honesty. She does, really. She could have gone without knowing that last part, but she's glad he has somebody because she knows that she and Chloe falling in love hurt him, though it was never meant to, it just was.

"Thanks," Beca manages to croak out.

"Beca, I," Chloe starts to say.

"No," Beca says. Her voice is stronger now. "You don't get to talk yet."

Chloe sports a deer in the headlights look that Beca idly thinks would look cute if she wasn't still so angry.

"It was different with Brayden," Beca says, "because he was in love with me, but I was never in love with him. Sure, yeah, I loved him, he was my best friend, but you… I was so in love with you, and we were supposed to be forever! You said it yourself as you left! And I understood that you had to leave physically, I wasn't going to keep you from going to college, I would never have kept you from Oxford. And even though it hurt like hell, I even understood you breaking up with me, but what I could never get past was that you could just cut me out of your life just like that. Like I was a toy you were tired of playing with!"

Beca isn't sure when she started hyperventilating, but she feels Aubrey's hands rubbing small circles on her back and she calms down considerably.

"And what you left me to deal with," Beca says. Her voice is low, calm, and scary steady. "The worst years of my entire life, I had to deal with alone."

"Beca what are you talking about?" Brayden asks.

Beca's eyes flit to him momentarily, but she locks eyes with Chloe for the first time all night as she says. "The worst part was, they didn't even really do any of that stuff because I was gay. Because Olivia Isles was gay and out too and she broke every finger in my hand and was treated like a God in those hallways. No, the worst part was finding out from Zeb Williams as he and his buddies were _raping_ me…"

Beca hears Aubrey gasp and her hand tighten around Becas.

"that the only reason that everyone hated me was because I had made you unavailable to all of them, and for that, I had to pay."

Beca regrets it as soon as it leaves her mouth. Sure, it was all true, but she hadn't meant to be vindictive like that. And she sure as hell never wanted Aubrey to know that she had been raped.

The only sounds in the room are the sound of her heavy breathing and the sounds of sniffles and sobs from her girlfriend and ex girlfriend.

Beca chances a look at Brayden, not expecting the rage inside his eyes.

"I, uh, never meant to tell you like that," Beca says. "I still have a lot of problems…"

"Beca," Aubrey says softly.

Beca turns to face her girlfriend. She gets lost in those emerald eyes, not glistening in tears.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Aubrey says. "I wish I could take away that pain."

Beca wipes a tear off Aubrey's cheek. "You help me more than you'll ever know," Beca says.

"I understand why you hate me now," Chloe says, "and I'm sorry, I never wanted…"

"You don't get to do that," Beca says. "You don't get to make me into the bad guy, or turn yourself into the victim or whatever it is you're doing right now. Because through everything that's happened, I've never hated you for a second. I hated that you left, I hated what happened, I hated that you turned into just another person who claimed to love me and left, but I could never hate you. Because even though me finally finding someone who loves me and falling in love with her, I find myself still in love with you too and I _hate_ that. I _hate_ that I still love you. It's not fair!"

"Beca, I…" Chloe starts.

Beca turns her back on Chloe. She looks to her girlfriend. "Can we go home now?" Beca asks.

Aubrey nods. Beca can't even stand right now, so Aubrey picks her up bridal style and carries her all the way back to Aubrey's apartment.

"You are incredible," Aubrey says as she puts Beca down on her bed. "You have the biggest heart I've ever known, you are the strongest person I've ever met, and I am in awe of you every day. You have been through so much pain, and you somehow manage to find the love inside you. I am blessed to have you Beca Mitchell, and I love you so much."

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	16. Chapter 15

_Dear Beca,_

 _I thought I would write you a letter, because I can't seem to communicate with you the few times that we've seen each other lately. Please just read it. Please?_

 _I want to start off by saying that I'm sorry. I know it will never be enough, but then there's nothing I can do to change what happened, as much as I wish there was. I broke us. It's my fault and I know it. But worse than that, I seem to have broken you and that is a tragedy because you are amazing. You have always had the biggest heart, even when the world has dealt you a poor hand, you've always been the one to pick the rest of us up off the ground and I admire that about you._

 _So I'm more sorry than you'll ever know. For leaving. For breaking up with you. For breaking your heart. For all the bad things that happened to you because of me. For my reappearance making things hard for you again. For not writing back. For pretty much everything._

 _I think you and Aubrey make a wonderful couple. She's good to you and she's good for you. You guys seem really happy together and that's all I can ask for the both of you._

 _I won't try to get between the two of you. Of course, I still love you, too. I have every second of every minute of every hour of every day since we were just little kids. But even I can see that Aubrey is better for you than I will ever be. I'm glad you found her._

 _So as much as it hurts, and even though I'm still just as in love with you as I was when we were together, and as much as I wish we could be together again, I have to let go. I hope that we can learn to be friends, because I don't want to lose you from my life again, and I don't want to lose Aubrey either. But if you need me to leave, I'll leave at the end of the year. I really hope it doesn't come to that, but if you need me gone so you can be happy again, well that's all I've ever wanted. I'm sure Aubrey would understand._

 _I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you know that. You'll always be my home, even if I'm not yours anymore._

 _I'm a little upset with how many times I've used 'I' in this letter, because you should know that it's not my intention to make this about me. This is about you. So Whatever you want, whatever you need, that's what matters. That's what we'll do._

 _I don't know if any of this is coming out the way that I mean it too._

 _You're important. To me. To Brayden. To Aubrey. That's why all of this is so hard._

 _You deserve only the best of things._

 _I'm sorry I couldn't be the best for you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you needed, what you deserved. I'm sorry I couldn't be strong for you._

 _I'm sorry that I broke our hearts for naught._

 _I wish you all the happiness in the world, because you deserve it, Beca. You deserve to be happy._

 _Love always,_

 _Chloe_


	17. Chapter 16

Beca only has two days left on campus before she flies back home. She really doesn't want to go. Sure, she wants to see her mom, but she'll only see her mom for what will probably be a grand total of twenty or so hours throughout all of break. She doesn't like to go out because of all the people there and all the history. She doesn't want to run into Olivia Isles in the grocery store, or see Quentin Norris on her way home. And this year she's got the added knowledge that Chloe and Brayden will both be home. She's not sure how she feels about that one yet.

Aubrey had invited her to go home with her, but Beca isn't quite ready to meet the family yet, and Aubrey seems like she understands. Beca thinks she's disappointed Aubrey, but with everything that's been going on with her lately, Beca thinks its best if she doesn't meet these people that she hopes will like her because she loves Aubrey.

Beca looks up at Aubrey who has her head in a book and her brow furrowed. Aubrey sighs and looks up from her book. She smiles at Beca, and Beca smiles back and beckons Aubrey to join her on the couch. Aubrey closes her book and sits down next to Beca, pulling the younger girl closer to her.

"I'm really going to miss you," Aubrey says. "I hate being apart for so long."

"I'm going to miss you, too," Beca says. She takes Aubrey's hand and interlocks their fingers. "Being with you is always the best part of my day."

"Why don't we just not go home?" Aubrey says. "You don't really want to go home, I don't really want to go home. We can just stay at my apartment over break."

"That sounds great, babe," Beca says. "But we both know that even though neither of us want to go home, we have to. My mom would kill me if I wasn't home for the three hours she's going to be home on Christmas. And your dad would probably show up here and drag you back."

Aubrey sighs. "Yeah, I know," she says. "A girl can dream, though."

Beca hums. "You have the best dreams," she agrees.

Aubrey's thumb twitches, which Beca has come to know is a tick that happens when there's something bothering her. Beca thinks she knows what it is, too. And there's something she can do to help.

"So you and I are going to stay here until I have to take you to the airport, right?" Aubrey says. "I want to soak up as much time with you as I can."

Beca laughs. "You're gonna be okay, Bree," she says. "We made it through Summer Break, we can make it through Christmas Break too. It's not nearly as long, and we're a lot better than we were then."

"I know," Aubrey says. "I just –"

"And as much as I love spending all my time with you, we both have things we have to do today," Beca says.

"What do we have to do?" Aubrey asks.

"Well I have to go back to my dorm and pack so that I can spend all day tomorrow here with you," Beca says. "And you have a best friend who is going to be mighty disappointed if you don't spend some time with her today."

"But I –"

"It's okay, Bree," Beca says. "I know everything's complicated right now, and I know you've been keeping your distance because of me, but neither of you deserve to lose your best friend. You and I are solid. I love you, and I know you love me, so we're going to be okay."

"Beca, I just, I want to support you. I _need_ to support you. I love you so much, and I just don't want to add any more stress on you. I don't want you to have to worry about all of that."

"You do support me," Beca says. "Every day. And I love you, too. It's Chloe's birthday today, Bree. I'm sure she wants to celebrate it with her best friend. You guys have both been great about giving me all the space I need, but you don't have to lose each other out of this. It's okay, Bree, I promise."

"Beca…"

Beca stands up and turns to look at Aubrey.

"I know you're thinking about it," Beca says. "And if this is really about wanting to spend our last few days here with me, then I'll come too."

Aubrey's jaw drops.

"You'd do that?" Aubrey says.

"I'd do anything for you," Beca says. "You really are the best girlfriend a girl could ask for. You've been so supportive of me, and I know if it came down to it, you'd put me above everything and everyone else. You've proven that time and again. I just never want to put you in a situation where you'd have to choose. You deserve to have everything you've ever wanted."

Aubrey pulls Beca down to her and kisses her hard. When she pulls back, Aubrey says, "Are you sure?"

Beca nods. "Of course."

"I just, I want to be with you," Aubrey says, "and you're right, I do want to celebrate Chloe's birthday with her, but I don't want you to have to face her if you're not going to be okay with it."

"Bree, we're going and that's final."

* * *

Chloe doesn't have anything planned for her birthday. She's going home in a few days anyway, and her birthday usually gets kind of lumped in with Christmas, so there's no reason for Brayden or her parents to come all the way up from Florida to see her. She hasn't hung out with Aubrey since Beca found out they were friends. And she hasn't heard anything from Beca since before she sent her that letter.

Add in the fact that this year, she doesn't really feel like celebrating anyway, and Chloe's day is wide open.

Aubrey has already texted her a happy birthday message and her mom and dad called first thing in the morning. Brayden had also texted her saying something along the lines of happy birthday and we'll celebrate at home. She's not expecting a call or a text from Beca and that's pretty much her social circle at the moment.

So when Chloe hears the front door open a little after noon as she was thinking about where she wanted to order lunch from, Chloe grabs a rolling pin to defend herself from the intruder.

"Chloe?"

Chloe drops the rolling pin and runs to the front room, literally jumping on Aubrey.

Aubrey staggers backward a little bit, but manages to steady herself and wraps her arms around Chloe.

"Happy Birthday," Aubrey says.

"You're here!" Chloe says. "I thought you would be with Beca?"

"She is," Beca says as she enters the apartment. "Happy Birthday, Chloe."

"Beca!" Chloe practically yells.

Chloe engulfs Beca in a huge bear hug, they kind she always used to give Beca, but she quickly pulls away when she feels Beca stiffen in her arms.

"Beca," Chloe says.

"Come on," Beca says, "We're going to lunch."

Chloe smiles as Beca turns around and goes back outside. She looks at Aubrey who smiles at her.

* * *

Beca directs Aubrey to this little whole in the wall café on the outskirts of town that Aubrey has no idea how Beca knows about. Beca tells her it's got open mic all day every day so anyone can just take the stage at any point in time, but that there's an honor system where if there are people waiting to perform, you have to limit yourself to two songs.

Aubrey and Beca sit on one side of a booth near the stage, and Chloe sits on the other side.

Aubrey looks at the menu. They seem to have a good selection of foods and the prices are actually quite inexpensive. Aubrey idly thinks this could become a favorite spot of hers.

Lunch is still a little tense. Aubrey and Chloe talk freely, but Beca doesn't really say much and Chloe seems unsure of what to say to her, if anything. Aubrey, just holds Beca's hand under the table.

Aubrey gives Chloe her birthday present after lunch, while she and Chloe sip on coffee and Beca drinks her iced tea.

It isn't much, Aubrey concedes to herself. It's just a simple pendant with a quote engraved on the back of it, but Chloe seems to love it, so Aubrey feels like she did alright.

She's surprised when Beca stands up and makes her way to the stage. Chloe is too, if her facial expression is any indication. Beca sits at the piano, and adjusts the microphone so she can speak into it while playing.

"Hi everyone," Beca says. "I'm not much for performing solo, so take it easy on me, okay? Happy Birthday Chloe."

Beca starts to play a melody.

" _I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,  
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,  
and people would say, 'They're the lucky ones."_

The melody changes and Aubrey knows that Beca is singing a mash-up. Which isn't really surprising because mash-ups are kind of Beca's thing.

" _I hold onto the night,  
You looked me in the eye  
And told me you loved me  
Were you just kidding?  
'Cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down  
We almost never speak  
I don't feel welcome anymore  
Baby, what happened, please tell me?  
'Cause one second it was perfect, now you're half way out the door"_

The melody changes again, and Aubrey is left wondering what Beca is trying to do. Because this doesn't seem so appropriate for Chloe's birthday. She's also left floundering wondering if Beca is trying to send her a message as well.

" _You left me,  
Prayin' for daylight waiting for that morning sun  
So I can act like my whole life ain't going wrong  
Baby come back to me, I swear I'll make it right  
Don't make me spend another lonely night"_

Aubrey's internally panicking. Because this song is kind of giving up the vibe that she wants Chloe back.

" _But now I'm stronger than yesterday  
Now it's nothing but my way  
My loneliness ain't killing me no more"_

Beca locks eyes with Aubrey.

" _My love, my love, my love  
She keeps me warm  
She keeps me warm  
She keeps me warm  
She keeps me warm"_

And now Aubrey feels so much better, because she knows that that part was included just for her. Beca's eyes transfer to Chloe as she changes melodies again.

" _So I forgive you  
We were just a couple of kids  
Trying to figure out how to live doing it our way  
No shame, no blame  
Cause the damage is done  
And, and I forgive you"_

Aubrey looks over at Chloe, who has happy tears in her eyes.

" _I forgive you  
We were busy living the dream  
Never noticed the glass ceiling falling on us  
No shame, no blame  
Cause the damage is done  
And, and I forgive you"_


	18. Chapter 17

**For the record, the songs used in the mash-up Beca did in the last chapter are 'The Story of Us' by Taylor Swift, 'Forever & Always' by Taylor Swift, 'Prayin for Daylight' by Rascal Flatts, 'Stronger' by Britney Spears, 'Same Love' by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and 'I Forgive You' by Kelly Clarkson.**

* * *

It's Christmas Eve and Beca is home alone. Nothing out of the ordinary, but she has an ache in her chest from being away from Aubrey. She wishes she would have agreed to spend the holidays with her girlfriend, but she couldn't bail on her mom because even though she doesn't ever get to spend time with her mom, she's the only person who's been in her corner her entire life, and she's always worked really hard to make sure that Beca has had everything she needed.

She sighs, waiting to hear from Aubrey before deciding she should go to the grocery store and pick up the last minute things her mom needed for tomorrow. She really doesn't want to go out and have to face the people in this town, but she promised her mom she would get this stuff while she was at work.

She wanders through the grocery store, now unfamiliar as the store had changed its layout whilst she was away, trying to figure out where the things she needs are. She grabs the potatoes and vegetables first, because the produce section was the easiest to find. She finds the sugar next. Beca sees the sign for the cereal aisle and figures she'll pick some up so she can have breakfast while she's here, but as she goes to turn into it, she sees Zeb Williams at the other end and decides instantaneously that breakfast isn't important, and that she can figure something else out.

When she leaves the store with everything on her mom's list, she lets out a sigh of relief.

It's short lived. It's only about fifteen seconds that Beca's been outside when somebody grabs her from behind and drags her into the alley.

 _God damn it_.

"Well, well, well," Beca hears Zeb say as Alex Lukowski throws her to the ground. "Look at what we have here."

"Jesus Christ," Beca says. "When are you guys going to fuck off, I never did anything to you guys."

"You ruined everyone's chance with Chloe Beale," Mel says.

"No, you ruined your chances with me," Beca hears Chloe say. "I wouldn't be caught dead with the likes of you."

 _When did Chloe get here?_

Beca manages to stand up while the boys backs are turned, but it's only a second before Quentin is behind her.

"You can watch us with your girlfriend this time," Quentin whispers into her ear.

"Dude, if you lay a finger on her or my girlfriend I'll fucking kill you," Beca says. Backing Quentin into the wall of the building, so his head slams against the brick.

Beca sees that the rest of the boys have cornered Chloe.

"What in fuck's name is wrong with you guys," Beca says. "Is this seriously the only way you can get girls? By forcing yourselves on them?"

Beca puts herself in between Chloe and the boys.

"I won't let you do to her what you've done to me," Beca says.

"What the fuck is going on here!?" Brayden yells as he stops at the entrance of the alley.

"Brayden, get your sister out of here before she gets hurt," Beca yells back at him.

Chloe tries to protest, but Brayden pushes past the boys and grabs Chloe's arm pulling her away from the boys who have spent years torturing Beca.

"Had so much fun last time, you want more, huh?" Zeb says.

"Go to hell," Beca spits at him.

Beca punches Alex straight in the face as he tries to get closer. Beca swear she hears his nose crack. But then it's four against one and although Beca knows she got some good hits in, it's not enough, and she's soon pinned to the ground by Mel and Quentin as Alex and Zeb kick her ribs.

"Stupid dyke," Zeb mutters.

Everything hurts, and Beca doesn't have any fight left in her. She tries to curl up in a ball, but it's futile. Alex is still kicking her, but Zeb has changed his focus. She feels him tugging at her pants, but then Alex gives her a really good kick and she passes out.

* * *

Aubrey hates going home. It's nothing but tense and hostile, and she doesn't even know why her parents insist that she comes home for a holiday that they don't even really celebrate. There is no Christmas Tree, no exchanging of presents. The only way you could tell it's Christmas time in the Posen household is that there is a small mention of it during Grace.

Okay, so that's a lie. Aubrey knows exactly why her parents insist that she come home. It's the same reason they don't have a Christmas tree and they don't exchange presents. It's the reason that she doesn't come home any other time of the year, but Aubrey doesn't want to think about that.

So instead she thinks about Beca and about how much she loves and misses the younger girl. She thinks about her eyes that shine like sapphires in the moonlight, and the way they fit perfectly together. She thinks about how she wishes she was spending Christmas with her, and in that moment, Aubrey decides that she will.

Aubrey packs her bags and places them by the door. She tells her parents over dinner that she's leaving to spend Christmas Day with her girlfriend, because she loves her, because she misses her, and because she wants a real Christmas again.

They don't really say anything, so Aubrey excuses herself and drives to the airport.


	19. Chapter 18

**A part of me wanted this story to be endgame Bechloe, but I can't stop with the cute Mitchsen stuff. We'll see where the muse takes us.**

* * *

Beca opens her eyes to see her mom staring back at her.

"Oh thank God," she says.

She frowns. "How did I get here?"

"Ambulance," Brayden says.

She looks away from her mom and toward the sound of Brayden's voice. He looks tired. Beca looks around the rest of the room to find Chloe and Aubrey sitting on either side of her. Both of them look like they've been crying.

It doesn't take Beca long to remember what happened.

"Did he?" Beca asks

Brayden shakes his head. "No," he says. "I pulled them off of you before they could do that again."

"What do you mean, again?" Beca hears her mom say. "Beca, they've done this before?"

Beca can't look her mom in the eye.

"I'm sorry, Beca," Chloe says. "It's all my fault."

"No," Beca says. "Chloe look at me."

Chloe looks up.

"It's not your fault," Beca says. "I'm sure, if I'd never met you, they'd have found another reason to justify to themselves what they were doing. This isn't your fault."

Beca looks Chloe in the eyes silently begging the older girl to stop blaming herself. It isn't Chloe's fault they live in a town full of assholes.

Beca's not sure she has the strength to sing, but when Chloe looks down again, Beca tries.

" _I forgive you  
We were just a couple of kids  
Trying to figure out how to live,  
Doing it our way."_

Her voice is raspy and weak, and Beca almost winces at the way she sounds right now. She could also really use some water because her throat is dry and scratchy and singing certainly isn't any better.

" _No shame, no blame  
Cause the damage is done  
And, And I forgive you."_

"Remember?" Beca says.

Chloe looks Beca in the eyes, and Beca can see the silent tears streaming down her face.

"Thank you," Chloe says, her voice sounding almost as bad as Beca's.

It's then that a nurse comes in and announces that visiting hours are over. Beca throws a fit because she hasn't even been able to talk to her girlfriend yet, and now that she knows that Aubrey is here, she doesn't want her to leave, even if she doesn't know why Aubrey is here on Christmas Eve. Is it still Christmas Eve? How long was she out anyway?

"No," Beca cries out. "You can't leave me." Beca grabs weakly onto Aubrey's hand hoping that Aubrey will stay.

"Hey, hey," Aubrey says. "I'm right here, baby," she says. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Beca hears an annoyed sigh, but then the nurse quickly relents. "Okay, you can stay, but everyone else has to go."

Beca smiles. She figures that Aubrey leveled the nurse with one of her impressive glares, daring the woman to argue, and of course, the woman didn't.

Chloe and Brayden say goodbye, and Beca lets them leave. Her mom, on the other fawns over her for five minutes before the nurse gets mad and makes her leave.

"Bree?" Beca says after everyone else has left.

Beca wonders if she's dreaming because Aubrey should be in South Carolina with her family. So why would she be here now?

"Drink some water, Becs," Aubrey says. She hands Beca a glass of water with the hand that isn't tangled with Beca's.

The water definitely helps, though she still sounds terrible. Beca has a lot of questions. Why is Aubrey here? When did she get here? Does she know what happened? What day is it? What happened to the boys? But Beca feels her eyelids getting heavy and realizes that whatever pain killers they have her on are about to force her back to sleep.

Before she drifts off again, Beca manages to say one thing.

"I love you."

The last thing that Beca hears is, "I love you, too."

* * *

Aubrey jolts awake. Beca is still asleep in the hospital bed, but a quick glance at the clock tells Aubrey that she couldn't have slept for more than ten minutes. Not that she's surprised. She hasn't really been able to sleep since she heard Beca was in the hospital, and when she does manage to fall asleep, it isn't for long and is plagued with nightmares of losing Beca.

Aubrey literally hasn't left Beca's side since she got there, except to use the bathroom and that one time they took Beca to get x-rays. Her eyes sweep over Beca's body. _My poor baby_. Five broken ribs. She seriously wants to kill those boys.

Aubrey tries not to think about it, the things that those boys did, it makes her sad and angry, but Chloe and Brayden had told her what had happened, and how he had found Beca when he came back for her. So a part of her is still angry at them all for leaving Beca alone with those four boys, but then she's also grateful because it meant Chloe wasn't left alone with them. But the whole thing just makes her sad and angry, so she takes a deep breath and tries to will those images away. She doesn't want them.

Beca has been in and out of consciousness for the last few days, the pain medication they're giving her seems to knock her out pretty good, but every time Beca opens her eyes and latches onto Aubrey's, Aubrey thanks God, because she doesn't think she could survive without her anymore.

Beca's still out cold, but Aubrey talks to her anyway.

"I never thought one person could change the world," Aubrey says. She's admittedly talking to herself moreso than her passed out girlfriend. "But then you walked into my life, all tattoos and piercings and eyeliner, and from the moment we met at the activities fair, my whole world changed."

Aubrey's hand squeezes Beca's as she remembers how she used to treat Beca. She's mad at herself for all the wasted time.

"I think, subconsciously, I must have known from the beginning how you would affect me, how you _do_ affect me, but I never liked change. And there you were making me feel things I'd never felt before. Trying to change the set list, and I didn't know what to do," Aubrey says. "And now you _are_ my whole world. So you can't go trying to be the hero anymore, because this is horrible, but we both know this could have been a whole lot worse, and I just can't lose you, Beca."

Aubrey feels tears welling up in her eyes.

"I love you so much," Aubrey says. "I didn't know it was possible to love somebody the way I love you, because even though the journey's we've taken to get here have been hard and rough, when I'm with you, the sun is brighter and my heart beats faster, and the stars shine like they're only here for you and me. And if you were to ever leave me…"

"I won't," Beca says. Her voice is hoarse and strained and weak, but as Aubrey's eyes meet Beca's, Aubrey can see her conviction is strong.

Aubrey is crying silently now, but she can't help but smile when she sees Beca looking at her like that. "You're awake," Aubrey says.

"So it seems," Beca says. "And not so groggy either. I still sound like shit though."

Aubrey laughs.

"I can't keep track of time in here," Beca says. "What day is it?"

"The 27th," Aubrey says.

Beca frowns. "If we were going to miss Christmas anyway," Beca says, "We should've just stayed at your apartment."

Aubrey chuckles. "Too late, now," she says. "Next year?"

Beca nods.

Aubrey hasn't seen Beca this put together and coherent since they parted ways for break. It can only mean that Beca is healing well and they've backed off on the pain meds a little bit.

"Can we go back there?" Beca asks. "When they let me out, can we go back?"

"Back where?" Aubrey asks.

"Home," Beca says. "To your apartment."

"Of course," Aubrey says. "Whatever you want."

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	20. Chapter 19

After hearing what had happened, pieces from Beca and Chloe and Brayden, Aubrey expected Beca to be even more resistant to touch than she normally is. And she kind of is, Beca won't let anyone touch her except for the doctors and nurses (because she really has no choice in that), her mom, and Aubrey. It surprises Aubrey, though, how clingy Beca is being. Not that she's complaining. She loves how Beca curls up in her arms every chance that she gets. She loves that Beca is initiating near constant contact. She even loves that Beca refuses to sleep unless Aubrey is holding her, requiring Aubrey to break the hospital policy of only patients in the beds, but nobody's complained about that.

They're releasing Beca today, and they're both really excited to go home. Away from the complicated drama of family and their pasts. Beca just wants to have dinner with her mom and then go home. So that's what they're doing.

Chloe and Brayden have come to see Beca again and Aubrey smiles because the two, whom Aubrey understands lost touch when Chloe and Beca started dating, seem to have gotten back to what Aubrey assumes was their old relationship pretty easily.

Aubrey holds Beca in her arms and everyone is just talking casually. Well, Aubrey isn't really. She throws in a comment here and there, but mostly she's just watching, observing everyone. She doesn't really know Brayden well enough to read him. Chloe, on the other hand, she could read like a book. It's actually kind of surprising, because despite being best friends they haven't spent all that much time together.

But Chloe's eyes bleed sadness, and her posture is too tall for what should have been a fairly comfortable conversation between friends. Aubrey supposes that's exactly it. Chloe doesn't want to be just friends with Beca, and Aubrey would feel bad if she wasn't the one that's ruining it for Chloe. Because she wants Chloe to be happy and get everything she wants, but Aubrey's not going to give Beca up because she loves her. And Beca doesn't need someone else giving her up either.

But Chloe has always been such a chipper person, and it kills Aubrey to see that Chloe's normally bright blue eyes have dulled to an unnatural shade of melancholy.

Beca is more tense than usual, but Aubrey can attribute it easily to a number of different factors. What with everything that's happened recently. It could also easily be the presence of the two Beales in the room.

Aubrey swears that Chloe's gonna cry when she mentions that they're leaving after dinner tonight, but instead her shoulders slump slightly and she says, "Will you come by before you leave?" Chloe's looking more at Beca than at Aubrey. "Mom and Dad want to see you. They're both at work until 5ish."

Aubrey's never really thought about it before, that Beca would be close with Chloe's parents. If she had, it shouldn't be surprising, after all she had dated Chloe for somewhere around five years, and had been best friends with her brother before that. It would only be natural that she become close with her parents.

Aubrey, for her part, had never actually met any of the Beales before. She had met Chloe while she was on vacation in Europe, and Chloe had been studying at Oxford. Their friendship had been founded there, but from that point on it had been a long distance friendship.

Aubrey feels Beca tense up, but with only a small squeeze of support from Aubrey, she loosens almost immediately.

"Yeah, okay," Beca says. "We can't stay long though or we'll miss our flight."

* * *

Beca becomes overly anxious when she and Aubrey reach Chloe's house.

"Beca, breathe," Aubrey says. She squeezes Beca's hand lightly, and Beca counts in her head. _In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four._

Beca hasn't been here since before she and Chloe broke up all those years ago. It's strange being back here, in the place that had once felt more like home than her own home did. Now it feels foreign and uncomfortable.

When Beca collects herself, Aubrey knocks lightly on the door. When Chloe opens the door, Beca smiles softly at her but doesn't let Chloe hug her like she knows Chloe wants to. Chloe and Aubrey hug and Chloe leads them into the house.

Beca spots Brayden first, offering him a small smile as well. She turns her head to see Mrs. Beale, with a smile and open arms as she's always had for Beca. Without even thinking about it, Beca flies into Mrs. Beale's arms, even if it is rather painful with her broken ribs.

"Oh, baby girl, I've missed you," Mrs. Beale says.

Beca's crying in Mrs. Beale's arms. The Beales have always felt more like family than her own family did, so when Beca and Chloe had broken up, Beca felt like she'd lost her whole family.

"You must be Aubrey," Beca hears Mr. Beale say.

Beca looks up and sees Mr. Beale engulfing Aubrey in a hug. The Beales have always been very affectionate people, very unlike the Posens and Mitchells.

"Chloe has told us so much about you," Mr. Beale says. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Beca smiles at the interaction.

"As for you," Mr. Beale says turning around to face Beca. "I don't care what's happened between my children and you, you're family too, so don't ever be such a stranger, okay?"

Beca is still crying, and Mr. Beale's statement means everything, but…

"I'm not coming back," Beca says. "Ever. I just, I can't be here anymore."

Beca can see the heartbreak on each and every Beale, and she hates it. She leaves Mrs. Beale's embrace because she needs Aubrey's, and Aubrey is only too willing to have Beca back in her arms.

"I promise I'll take good care of her," Aubrey says. "She'll be safe and loved and I will always do everything in my power to make her happy."

Beca looks at everyone. Mr. and Mrs. Beale are crying, well all the Beales are. They all look hurt and guilty and sad.

"I know," Chloe says softly.

"Hey," Beca says. She didn't really plan on saying anything else, but she couldn't leave like this. "This isn't because of you, any of you. You guys have been my family for years, and despite everything that's happened…" Beca looks Chloe in the eyes. "I will _always_ love you." Beca takes a deep breath. "But after everything that has happened, I can't stay here anymore. I don't feel safe here. I'm _not_ safe here."

Beca bolts out of the house when she's done speaking, she's buckled herself into the passenger seat of the rental car before Aubrey's even out of the house.

When Aubrey gets into the car, she takes Beca's hand gently in her own. "Everything's going to be okay," she says. "They can't hurt you anymore, I won't let them."

"I love you," Beca says.

"I love you, too," Aubrey says. "Let's go home."


	21. Chapter 20

Beca's ribs are almost completely healed by the time Valentine's Day rolls around. A new semester has started, and Beca has more time to focus on her schoolwork now that she's not participating in the active part of the Bellas (ie cardio and choreography). She'll give herself another few weeks to be sure before she throws herself back into it.

Aubrey has been her rock through everything and Beca couldn't be more grateful for the older girl. And Beca has plans for tonight to remind Aubrey just how much she loves and appreciates her. It's their first Valentine's Day together and Beca really wants to make sure it's special. Not just for her, but for Aubrey as well.

She is a struggling college student with broken ribs though, so she sticks to romantic things and things that would pamper Aubrey.

She starts by cooking dinner. It had taken her a long time to find Potatoes big enough for the meal she intended on making, but eventually she did and soon she was cooking up a storm in Aubrey's kitchen. While she had the potatoes baking in the oven she set the table so that it looked classy and elegant with a couple of candles on it that Beca would light later.

Beca places bouquets of irises, orchids and tulips all over the apartment, and puts aside a bouquet of twelve roses to give to Aubrey when she comes home.

* * *

Chloe sighs. She used to love Valentine's Day, but that was before. Since she broke up with Beca she dreads it. It makes her think about everything she threw away. At least she knows that Aubrey will have a good day, and probably Beca as well.

Chloe decides she's not going to classes today. It's something that's been happening with increasing regularity, as bad as Chloe knows that is.

What nobody else seems to realize is that Beca's not the only one who changed after they broke up. Chloe's changes were originally more subtle, because Chloe held onto the notion that she and Beca would be reunited one day. It was also easier then because she had no contact with her former lover.

Now she sees Beca a lot, and it kills Chloe to see her so in love with somebody else. It's not that she isn't happy for Beca and for Aubrey, because she is. She's glad that they're happy. She just isn't happy herself.

It had been something that was easier to ignore while she was in Europe. She could focus on her schoolwork and on the culture. She had done a lot of exploring. But a piece of her had always been missing since the day she left Beca behind. A piece that she's starting to realize she'll probably never get back.

* * *

Aubrey walks into her apartment to an amazing aroma the soft sounds of The Bangles and Beca wearing a little black sleeveless dress surrounded by dozens and dozens of candles. Beca pulls a bouquet of red roses from behind her back and hands them to Aubrey.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Aubrey," Beca says.

Aubrey's jaw drops as she takes the roses from Beca. Beca giggles at that, but Aubrey's still processing the scene around her.

This is their first Valentine's Day together and already it's more than Aubrey could have ever dreamed. She's only been in a relationship on Valentine's Day twice before, but nobody had ever, for Valentine's Day or any other reason, done anything so romantic for her.

She had been in high school the first time she was with somebody for Valentine's Day. It was her freshman year and Ian Longley was her boyfriend of almost six months at the time. Ian had been tall, which Aubrey liked because she was tall for her age as well, with short blonde hair and blue eyes slightly lighter than Chloe's, but not as bright. He'd had his older brother Chris drop them off at Luigi's, the only Italian place in town that wasn't mainly a pizza joint.

He had brought her a single red rose and been a gentleman throughout dinner. He'd paid for the both of them and held her hand as they walked through the streets of their hometown together. He'd brought her back to his family's place and up to the loft. He'd also promptly dumped her when she wouldn't put out for him.

The other time she'd been with somebody for Valentine's Day had been her sophomore year of college. She'd just started dating Liam Benoit towards the end of January, and the pair were still getting to know each other. Liam had decided he didn't want to be like everybody else, so instead of roses he had given her a bouquet of Aster and Peonies, both of which they soon discovered Aubrey was very allergic to and had to be rushed to the Emergency Room when she stopped being able to breathe. Aubrey still maintains that he hadn't wanted to spend the extra money on roses around Valentine's Day for a relationship he was unsure of. Liam had broken it off less than a week later.

Aubrey pulls Beca close to her and kisses her tenderly.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," Aubrey says.

"Come on, baby," Beca says as she entwines her fingers with Aubrey's. "Dinner's ready." Beca gently leads Aubrey into the kitchen and pulls the chair out for her as she sits herself at the table. A table that is now covered with a long white tablecloth, a couple of long white candles flickering and a vase of assorted flowers (Aubrey is happy to note that there's no Aster or Peonies anywhere).

Beca pours her a glass of what Aubrey notes is her favorite wine. Aubrey intends to find out how Beca got her hands on a bottle of three-hundred-and-fifty-dollar wine.

Aubrey's never seen a creation quite like the one in front of her. It's a huge half of a baked potato, partially hallowed out. The potato (the likes of which Aubrey has never encountered before) acts as a bowl for a healthy portion of pasta which is covered in alfredo sauce, with pieces of bacon, peas and broccoli mixed into it and small bits of fried chicken on top.

The entire meal is delicious and she makes sure to tell Beca just how much she's enjoying it. She hadn't even known that Beca can cook.

Aubrey laments that she feels bad that Beca has done all of this for her and Aubrey had only gotten her a small gift and a card. She makes a comment about having been unsure what to do, never having had a good Valentine's Day experience before, and not wanting to go too big lest she scare Beca away.

Beca laughs and takes Aubrey's hands in her own.

"For almost a year now you have been my safe haven, my best friend and the apple of my eye," Beca says. "God I sound so queerballs right now." Beca laughs nervously. "I don't need fancy things from you because what I need from you, you give me every day. Your presence alone is enough to make me grin like an idiot, but aside from that, you give me your love, your devotion, your attention, your admiration, your wisdom, your excellent study habits. You give me your heart and you give me peace of mind. You set me at ease with the knowledge that you have my heart in your hands and you treasure it. You make me deliriously happy every day that I spend with you. I've never known a love like this before because even with all the drama and the baggage and the complications and my history, you still love me, you still want me and you still see me for exactly who I am."

Beca pulls a simple silver ring with an intricate twist on the front and an inscription that Aubrey can't really make out with a single diamond embedded into it. Aubrey gasps as her eyes widen and her jaw drops in shock.

Beca isn't proposing is she? They haven't even been together that long.

"Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring," Beca says. "Yet."

Beca holds the ring up to Aubrey.

"I promise that I will always be open and honest with you, as hard we both know that can be for me. I promise to never take you love and affection for granted. I promise to be loyal and true to you. I promise to devote myself to making you as happy as you make me. I promise to try my best not to run when things get hard and overwhelming. Thing ring is a physical representation of these promises I'm making to you. A reminder to you that you are always on my mind and in my heart."

* * *

 **What do you think?**


	22. Chapter 21

**It's been a while, my bad. I won't make excuses, but I won't apologize for living my life either. I will apologize for the long delay and the brevity of this chapter though, so sorry about that. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the story.**

* * *

Beca frowns as she hears Aubrey talking on the phone. It's the third time this week that Chloe has canceled plans with Aubrey.

Aubrey ends the call, and throws her phone on the couch.

"I don't get it," Aubrey says as she collapses onto the couch, right into Beca's waiting arms. "I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I've done wrong, trying to pinpoint what changed, but I can't find anything. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore."

Beca tightens her hold on her girlfriend. "I don't think it's you, Bree," she says.

"That's sweet," Aubrey says, "But what else could it be? I must've done something…"

"Bree," Beca says softly, "I really don't think it's you she doesn't want to hang out with…"

"That's ridiculous," Aubrey asserts. "Chloe loves you."

"Yeah," Beca says, "She does. And I think that's the problem."

Aubrey looks at Beca. "What does that mean?"

"Bree," she says, "When Chloe and I broke up, we did so with the understanding that we would find our way back to each other. She was going to be on a whole other continent, and I was going to stay home and endure the rest of my high school experience without her. I think initially, we both thought it was only temporary. She was my whole world then, but after everything that happened, it was easy for me to give up on the idea that she was coming back for me. I had a rough time, and the one person who was supposed to be there for me through everything wouldn't even write me back. So I chalked it up to me being wrong, and that Chloe didn't want me anymore."

Beca sighs. "When I let go of the idea that Chloe and I would ever be together again, I went into a really dark place. I mean, I probably would have been in a dark place regardless, because of, you know, everything that goes on at home, but losing Chloe, or even the idea of Chloe sent me spiraling. There were several points where I thought: nobody here likes me, all the people I thought loved me are gone, they don't want me, so why am I even here?"

Beca feels Aubrey stiffen in her arms. She places a long kiss on Aubrey's shoulder.

"I think, even though Chloe was the one who cut all communication off, she's held on to that idea that she and I would find our way back to each other. This entire time, in her head, when all is said and done, she thought that when she came back, she and I would be together. I think she's in that dark place that I was in. Because until now, she hasn't had to face the idea that we wouldn't be getting back together, let alone the reality of it."

"I think you're right," Aubrey says. She hums to herself a moment before she speaks again. "How did you pull yourself out of the dark place?"

Beca lets out a humorless chuckle. "I didn't," she says.

Aubrey turns around to face Beca.

"You did," Beca says as she moves a fallen strand of hair behind Aubrey's ear. "I met you, got to know you, and you brought the light back."

Aubrey brings her lips down to meet Beca's as they kiss tenderly.

"I love you, Bree," Beca says as they break.

"I love you, too," Aubrey says.

"Go to her," Beca says. "She needs you more than I do right now."

* * *

 **What do you think?**


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